If You Really Knew Me

I originally saw this here {and then about a million other bloggy places} and I'm low on post ideas, so here you are.

If you really knew me....

If you really knew me you'd know that I am not to be trusted around breakfast meats, such as bacon or sausage. I will eat an entire pan of it if left to my own devices.

You'd know that Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally are my two favorite movies, even though I tell people it's something more intelligent and sophisticated.

Judge me.

You'd know that truly good iced coffee is my weakness. Second only to kisses on my neck and pictures of black bears.

You'd know I'm highly inappropriate.

{but a super good time}

You'd know that I hate the color yellow in almost every shade, especially mustard. 

This new trend of mustard and gray themed outfits, furniture, home decor and accessories is not pleasing me.

You'd know I'm terrified of the dark, insects, strange illnesses, ladders, ventriloquist dummies, being murdered and my car exploding.

I know. Weird.

You'd know that I'm a crier. You probably actually already know this. I cry over the weirdest things, and sometimes just sitting around watching TV my mind can wander into strange enough territories to make me cry.

I cried through like the whole first season of Grey's Anatomy.

You'd know that I cannot, I mean CANNOT watch TV shows or movies that involve themes about hurting/abusing/killing children. Law and Order SVU is one of my favorite shows, but the episodes about kids? Not a chance. I still haven't {and will never} see Shutter Island for this reason. When themes like that come up, I instantly start sobbing and have a massive panic attack.

You'd know I cannot whistle, cross my eyes or hula hoop.

If you really knew me you'd know that in 5th grade I told one of my friends that I couldn't be her friend anymore because she sneezed too loud. I was serious, and I still don't regret it.
It was like a scream/sneeze.

You'd know that I hate taking out the trash. More than any other chore in the world. Seriously.

You'd know that I don't like touching toilet water, I take a super hot shower every night before bed in order to sleep, and the sound of rain and cloudy gray days make me all kinds of happy and sentimental. 

You'd know I actually didn't learn to cook decently until well after I moved out on my own. My fridge in my first apartment had nothing but green olives, coco pebbles cereal and Totino's pizzas in it.

You'd know that new socks and underwear make me so happy that I put them on as soon as I get home. First thing. 

You'd know that I like the guy to drive if I go anywhere with anyone of the male persuasion.

What would I know about you if I knew you?