Tomorrow I Will

Tomorrow I will dress appropriately for social interaction, instead of leaving the house in clothes that resemble my pajamas as closely as possible.

I will take my headphones and sunglasses off, make eye contact with people and smile.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will put the laundry away, and stop this perpetual circular dance around the laundry basket that I do every morning, digging like a pig for truffles to find outfits for me and the kids.

Tomorrow I will stop moping. I will pick myself up and dust myself off and say "so what?" every time the sadness backs up in my throat and tries to push tears down my cheeks.

So what.

Tomorrow I will stop smoking.

Tomorrow I will interact with my co-workers. I will be pleasant and friendly and maybe have lunch in the company of others, instead of by myself with headphones and a book so that no one will speak to me.

Tomorrow I will stop writing such depressing shit.

Tomorrow I will start writing the book that I've been saying I might write someday. I'm going to write it now.

Now as in tomorrow, I mean.

Tomorrow I am going to get my shit together.

I'm going to move on, move forward.

I'm going to be better and stronger and faster and completely free from the tangled branches I continue to let hold me down.

I will be put together, polished, professional, and all other positive adjectives that start with P.

Tomorrow I will do better.

Tomorrow.

But today...today is a very hard day.