Shit My Kids Say When They're Supposed to be in Bed

"I have to go potty"

"I'm thirsty"

"I wanted ice in my water"

"I want to find my baseball glove from last summer and sleep with it."

"I need more stuffed animals to sleep with"

"I have to go potty again"

"When was Harry Potter written?"

"How much ice cream can I have tomorrow?"

"I'm hungry again"
"Last time I promise"

"What noise does a Zebra make?"

"Where does the moon go when the sun is out?"

"I'M THIRSTY AGAIN"

"I'm just getting a snack"

"Do we have any more frosted flakes?"

"When can I go swimming again?"

"I'm not tired"

"I promise I'll still get up in the morning, but let me stay up five more minutes"

"Why can't I watch the movie with you?"

"YOURESOMEANIHATEYOU"

Someone told me once that raising kids is similar to being pecked to death by chickens.