When I was growing up, I always seemed to be surrounded by people who assigned this huge, heavy, weight and meaning to sex.
Whether it was for religious reasons or personal upbringing, there was an idea going around that taking off your clothes, allowing someone to see your physical self completely, and putting your two naked bodies together was the highest form of intimacy two people could share, and it was not to be taken lightly.
For a while, I went along with this in a half assed sort of way.
While I did go ahead and take the plunge into sexual experience at the tender age of 15, I remained convinced that it was this huge deal. I prided myself on only having slept with one person for the two years that that number remained the same, and I would tell anyone who would listen that sex was not something to be taken lightly.
Cheating, in my opinion at the time, was unforgiveable.
Sex was this big, grand, monumnetous and important thing! It was special! It was a gift you give somebody! It was the highest form of intimacy for fucks sake! For someone to offer that to another person outside of their two person union {in other words cheat}, they must not care for their partner at all! They must be callous and horrible and completely out of love with their person - not to mention now probably in love with this hussy they cheated with! - because I also believed that since cheating didn't happen in the presence of love, sex didn't happen without it.
I had somehow almost entirely forgotten - or chosen to overlook - the indesputable fact that sex happens all the time without love, respect, or even really liking each other. It was something any asshole with working genitalia had the basic ability to do. Something we were all, regardless of nearly anything else that was true about us, able to do.
Something that we all had a natural and instinctive drive and desire to do, since long before we began experiencing any romantic feelings for people.
Still, even though I knew this, I insisted it was the biggest thing two people could share.
To take off their clothes, part their legs {if they're female}, and wrap around each other, moving together usually in the dark, where no one can see them and they don't really even have to see each other.
What I've learned as I've gotten older though, is that that's the easy part.
The stripping and the panting and the blind feeling.
People do it all the time.
But opening up your soul to someone?
Letting them in, past the well lit paths and things that are easy to share, all the way into the darker and more fragile parts of ourselves; sharing our hopes and dreams and fears and secrets....letting them not just inside your body, but into your spirit - into your heart?
That's being naked.
And it's not something that everyone is capable of doing.
It's not even remotely as easy as having sex.
No comments:
Post a Comment