Things I Need to Remember

Things I need to remember right now:

1. I am going to be ok.

2. WE are going to be ok.

3. I can do this.

4. I've done this, one way or another, for almost 9 years. I can do it for 9 more. And another 9 after that. Whatever it takes.

5. No matter what happens, we'll survive.

6. My kids will be ok without gymnastics lessons or soccer teams if they need to go without those things for right now. I can make up for them with love...and ice cream bribes.

7. I am only one person, doing the job of two. Even if I fuck up, I should be proud of myself for what I still achieve every day.

8. We've come a long way in the last year. We can still go further.

9. Don't give up. Don't believe that there isn't hope, or chance, or fortune or luck, or sheer magic. There is. But it only works if you believe in it.

10. I am going to be ok. We will all be ok. Maybe not right now, but in the end. If things aren't ok, then it's obviously not the end.

Please refer me back to this when I feel like I'm barely treading water.

Being Thankful

So, since Thanksgiving is this week, I wanted to take a moment to be thankful.

Sometimes I am guilty of getting so caught up in the day to day pettiness of life, that I forget what awesome blessings I have been lucky enough to receive.

Thank you, for my babies.

For my two beautiful children who have both changed me, and taught me so much, in such different ways.Who saved my life, and drove me crazy, and gave me something to keep going for.

A reason to be better.

Thank you, for good music that makes my drive to work bearable.

For songs that Bill and I sing in the car, songs that remind me of different phases of my life, and all the different places I've been.

For the lyrics that remind me of how far I've come, and how far I have left to go.

Thank you, for hotels in canyons in the middle of nowhere.

Places where stars come out like fireflies in Summer time, and there is nothing to do but get lost in a love so deep and sweet, you wish with all your might to never resurface.

Thank you, for Bill.

For the love that took me by surprise, and hit me like a train. For a man that is patient, and accepting, understanding and supportive, who knows me, sometimes better than I know myself. For a man that is thoughtful, and constant, and never gives up on me no matter how much I make him crazy. A man that has always, always been there.

For the moments that take my breath away, and the amazing feeling of loving someone with all my heart, and being loved just as much in return.

Thank you, for texts on the way to work that bring tears to my eyes because they are so heartfelt and touching.

Thank you, for friends, new and old.

The fairweather flyers that came and went as easily as storm clouds in the desert. They taught me about loyalty.

And the dedicated partners in crime, that are always around, even if they're not always in view, who pick me up and brush me off, who pour me drinks and hold my hand, and laugh at my jokes and dry all my tears. They taught me about love, and the ties that bond.

And for new friends, like Matt and Vanessa who make every day at my mundane job tolerable, by making me laugh, putting up with my wildly inappropriate jokes, and bringing me chocolate and Dr. Pepper when I've had a bad day.

Last but not least, thank you for family.

Some of them I was born with, some of them adopted me along the way, but each one of them means more to me than I can explain.

My dad, Tony, Lucia, my brother, Jen, Cheryl and my favorite cousins {who know who they are}.

Here is to all the things that give me a reason to smile, laugh, and sometimes cry a little.

The things in my life and in this world that remind me to feel, and to live, and to keep seeing all the joy and adventure, in the simplest most unexpected places.