Dancing in the Dark: Life and Stuff

My life is an interesting one, if you ask me. Challenging on it's good days, and an uphill battle that calls for all of my endurance and perseverance on it's bad ones. But it's mine, and this is what it's been like lately, for those of you who care:

The kids are on Spring break this week, and I had planned to take them out of town, but Life got in the way, and things came up that made that impossible. Lainie is coming more and more into her own, and growing up staggeringly fast. It hurts sometimes to look at her and realize how close she is to being a young woman, and how I feel like I didn't cherish her baby hood as much as I wanted to. Jackson is getting bigger too, and that is coming with it's own challenges. He is more stubborn, saying "NO" whenever he can, not to be bad necessarily but because he wants to know when he can get away wi

th it. He throws bigger tantrums now, stomping his little feet, and whining. Pouting his lip out and yelling "You're making me so mad!" It's cute, and infuriating at the same time.

I'm exhausted. I feel like I have no time at all to get anything done, but at the end of the day, when I add up everything I did it seems like nothing, which really pisses me off. Must find a way to make the days longer.... My apprenticeship is going well, and I am loving every moment I have of learning and observing, and m

aking little decisions here and there about what kind of midwife I want to be someday. I feel truly blessed to have the preceptor that I have, and blessed that we get along so well. As for the romantic (ugh, I hate using that term) side of my life, things are coming together

I think. I have at least decided what works for me and what doesn't and I think I'm finally seeing eye to eye with The Dude about it. Whatever we are or aren't, it works for me. I'm blissfully happy with the time we spend together, and how much closer we've become over the last two years. So that's a win in my book.

The house is a mess, I desperately n

eed to go grocery shopping, I have a ton of stuff to catch up on, and more than a few mountains of laundry to do. But right now, the kids are peacefully sleeping, (I can hear Jackie snoring from his room like a little piglet) I car danced to Faith by George Michael like a rockstar today, and I feel quite blessed to have the friends and chosen family that I have.

And I've had some quite cherishable moments lately. See Below.