Sometimes

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I try reading books.

But I'm tired so my eyes get blurry and I can't focus on the words for too long.

Sometimes, I go in the bathroom and practice facial expressions in the mirror.

Now I know what I look like when I try to wink.

This has kept me from trying to wink as often.

Sometimes, I lay in bed and watch random things on YouTube, or pin useless things on Pinterest, 

But I think those things just keep me up longer, rather than helping me fall asleep.

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I pretend I know how to do yoga:

Which obviously, I don't.

Sometimes I go outside and look up at the sky

But then I get scared of monsters and serial killers because it's nighttime and dark out, so I run back inside and jump to my bed from my bedroom doorway so they can't get me.

Sometimes I can't sleep, 

And I do a lot of weird things to pass the time.

But mostly when I'm not sleeping, I'm thinking about you.

About the heavy weight of your leg and how it anchors me to the bed when you throw it over my waist at night.

About the fact that if you were here, I'd be sleeping because I'm always calm enough to rest when my head is on your chest.

And all the books I look at aren't as interesting as your face in the moonlight, 

And all the things I pin when it's almost midnight end up being somehow related to you.

And all the things I wander around this big quiet house doing, are all really just ways to keep myself from calling, or texting, to wake you up and say

I miss you.

I wish you were here.

I'm not sleeping, 

But I am thinking

Of you

Of us

And how very much you and your love will always mean to me.

Goodnight, sweet dreams.