More Things I Don't Get

I think it's official. 

I'm incapable of being successfully trendy. I try, I do, but I just never seem to understand the majority of trends. 

Pinterest never seems to fail in the area of giving me more shit I just don't get. Sometimes when I'm browsing it's pages {for hours} I stumble upon things that make me think "why?"

Things like:

Wine Cork Crafts

Wreathes, coasters, picture frames, cork boards...the ideas are endless. And ridiculous. As the daughter of a hoarder, I sometimes want to comment on these things and remind people: wine corks are trash. They are no better than the lids to your milk cartons. And really, you only get them from finishing a bottle of wine. So having enough to make a HUGE wreath out of them...doesn't that really just scream "Look what an alcoholic I am!" I mean, if you saw someone collect all their cigarette butts and paint them fancy colors, then make shit out of them, you'd be disgusted. Why is this any better? Because wine is classier?

Um, if you've ever seen a housewife on her  4th glass of white after an emotional episode of Sex and the City, you'd find nothing classy about wine.

The Obsessive Need to Improve Things:

Do you know where I got the above picture?

From a pin about how you don't have to peel hard boiled eggs if you cut them in half and then scoop the insides out with a spoon.

Really?

Because it's so fucking hard to peel a damn egg?

And because busting out TWO utensils instead of using your damn hands and a garbage bag actually makes anything any easier?

Don't get me wrong, I am all for improving life in small ways and I have found endless ways to organize my house, exfoliate my face and spend 200 bucks a month on groceries for 3 people.

But some improvements are just stupid.

I want to see a pin that's about using something for it's actual purpose.

Making Fat Foods Skinny Foods:

I don't get this, and not only do I not understand it, it pisses me off. DON'T MAKE MY FAT FOODS SKINNY.

If I am going to break down and eat junk food, I want the satisfaction of eating my self loathing in the form of saturated fat, calories, refined sugars and carbs. Glorious, glorious carbs.

If I want to eat healthy, I want it to taste freaking healthy so I can feel smug and self righteous about myself after eating it.

I don't want to be all "Oooh that cucumber tasted like pizza thanks to this recipe I found involving chili powder and Quinoa" I want to be all "Hey, that cucumber I just ate tasted EXACTLY like a damn cucumber and I ate it anyway. ON PURPOSE. I rule!"

Some awesome "skinny" recipes you can find online:

Skinny cheese fries. What. The. Fuck.

Skinny barbecue

Skinny quesadillas.

Really, just fucking shoot me.

Monday Momisms: The Bully

I always thought I would know what to do if one my kids was being bullied.

I always thought I'd know exactly what to say to make my baby feel better. Exactly what to say to help them fight back the right way, exactly what I'd say when I marched into the teacher's office to discuss the issue, and how I'd handle it if I didn't feel like the teacher took the matter seriously enough. In my mind I was always like Oprah or Tina Fey, championing for my under dog child with wit, intelligence and great shoes.

Also perfect hair.

I never imagined how awful it would be when my child started repeating the absolute vile things that come spewing forth from the mouths of some of the kids in her age group, or how angry I'd be-to the point of wanting to spank the shit out of someone else's kid for hurting mine-when tears came streaming down my daughter's face over something a boy had said or done to her. And I never imagined how confused I'd be when my daughter started bullying other kids, because she was being bullied.

You always think you know what you'd do. What you'd say. How you'd handle it.

Until it happens.

And in the moment that your heart breaks and your blood boils for your child and your need to protect them, your head also spins because you don't know what to say that would do any good. What words to give them to share with these little punks who are making their lives miserable.

And I also have no idea what to say when she's taking her frustrating with these boys out on other girls.

If you asked me what the hardest thing about being a parent is, and what the most important thing about being a parent is, I'd answer both questions the same way: talking to your kids.

You have to listen to every question, every complaint, every secret, every frustration, every discovery, every little thought and want and desire and whatever else might pass through their little heads, and simultaneously weed out the things that are really important.

The things that might indicate that they don't know how to resolve conflict.

The things that indicate they take everything to heart, and are 200 times more sensitive than you thought.

The things that mean they're impatient or rude or shy or pushy or controlling or stuck up or mean.

And you have to be objective enough about your own kid to admit it to yourself that they could be mean, or rude, or pushy, or hurtful.

It doesn't mean they're broken or bad, it just means they're not completely perfect.

As parents we all know that, but sometimes I don't think we really own that.

Sometimes I just wish I had more words.

Or maybe just better words.

Words that could make everything ok.

Words that could really help her understand that this will so not matter in even 6 months, let alone 1 year or 10 years.

Words that would help her really realize that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks-AT ALL, because at the end of the day, the only person she really answers to is herself.

Words that could ease all of her pain and give her the same "fuck you, I don't care" attitude that I have with bullies-or as we call them when we grow up: co-workers with slight seniority, bosses with God complex's, other moms with too much time on their hands, and girls who think that what they were in high school still counts for something.

But then I remember that I wasn't always that way with those people.

I used to care.

I used to cry over their shitty words and opinions and demands. I remember 6th grade, hiding in the bathroom until recess was over, begging my dad to keep me home from school, eating in the classroom at lunch time because I just didn't want to be seen. I couldn't bear to be noticed.

I did used to care what those kinds of people thought-well no, not really. I cared what they did. Their actions, and the cruel, unwavering persistence of their hateful words and humiliating behavior...I cared about that.

Watching your child live through even a portion of the pain you had to survive is absolute torture.

Not being able to give them any kind of answer that makes it all go away is even worse.

Sometimes it's just a shitty situation, and you have to play every card you have until you find the right one.

In the meantime, hope for the best, and hug your daughters.

The Best Thing About Arizona...

Is Monsoon Season

The Friday Diary: It's Still Summer

Hi Everyone.

Apologies in advance for the fact that I have less than nothing interesting to show you today.

Know why?

Because it's still. fucking. summer.

My brain is fried. I am hot. UNBEARABLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS HOT.

I have uncomfortable sweat in awkward places and my kids never go outside anymore.

I am done with summer. 

We all know that it's not my favorite season to begin with. I'm a Fall/Winter With Affectionate Feelings Toward Spring girl, 100%. 

I honestly don't get people who say they hate Fall or Winter just because it's cold. It being cold is like maybe only 15% of why it's awesome.

There are at least a million and twenty more reasons why Fall and Winter kick ass.

Anyway, summer doesn't. 

I think I've tried to love summer. I've given it a fair chance. Every year I try to find ways to psyche myself up about it, and for a while I pull it off. I throw on shorts {which are not a good look for me} and go running around all like "Yeah, summer is AWESOME, let's go get sunburned and get boob sweat marks on our t-shirts!" whilst I plan barbecues and swim parties and buy cute shit for the kids, but it always wears off. 

Aside from my seasonal anxiety issues {which I am aware are weird, but none the less real}, burning my thighs on a FABRIC car seat and feeling like I might black out before my air conditioning kicks on in my car on the way home from work aren't things I consider hobbies.

So, seriously, enough with summer.

I'm over it.

Summer, if you're reading this, please get the fuck out of my life now. No hard feelings or anything, I'm just done with your shit. The bad luck you bring me, the anxiety you give me, the dehydration and red sweat face that I get because I'm a ginger, none of it appeals to me.

Also, it's not me, it's you.

Sincerely, 

Girl in Arizona who fucking hates your face.

...

And now, a brief and uninteresting summary of my week.
Enjoy?

...

Overheard:
Jackson: I have a friend at school named Zoya and I love her.
Me: You love her? Really? How do you know that?
Jackson: Because when the teacher gived us balloons and hers was bigger dan mine, it was ok and I wasn't sad. I love her.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

...

Pinteresting:

I tried this exercise the other night. And tried is the operative word. I got to about halfway through the leg lifts and almost crapped out my kidney.
Took that as a sign I should probably stop and pin recipes for cinnamon rolls for the rest of the night.

...

Addicted:

It's a little sweet, so I like to add some extra coffee to it, but still, it's freaking amazing.
And it's cheaper than Starbucks.
WORD.

...

Accomplished:
2 weeks worth of groceries for $98.00
Half what we normally pay.
It took some strategery {Look Bill, I used your made up word!} on my part, and I had to figure out a couple meals where we'd "go meatless", but I did it!
And none of the meals on my life were things like Tuna Helper or Lean Cuisine.
If it had been I could've gotten way more than 2 weeks worth of groceries.

...

Shameless:
It's officially less than 2 weeks until my birthday!
Can you tell I'm excited?
If you're wondering what amazing gifts you can get me, see here.
Or find me a baby black bear. Baby black bears are always accepted.
Also, please tell me what I should do for my birthday.

...

Phone Picture Extravaganza!

Notes From a Hormone Casserole

True story: when I was in high school-actually all the way up to when I got pregnant with Jack, I proudly boasted to never having experienced a single PMS symptom. No bloating, cramping, cravings, mood swings, acne or exhaustion. I also told other women who complained of heavy, long, painful periods that mine were "short and sweet! about 3 days long and hardly any cramps!" It's truly a miracle I was never shot.

After having Jackson, everything changed, and while I won't go into detail, I will say this: I was out of my damn mind and I do not talk that way anymore.

Can we just all agree for a moment that PMS is one of the worst experiences on the planet?

I mean I'm sure being water boarded would be worse, but I'm not convinced it'd be that much worse. I think part of what's so terrible about PMS {Mad Cow Season as I call it} is that it effects everybody. Once my body has been taken hostage by hormones it's no longer just me who suffers. 

It's my kids, my boss, my boyfriend, and generally anyone who stands between me, my yoga pants and an extra large pizza with a side of 9 lbs of chocolate.

DARK CHOCOLATE DAMN IT OR I WILL TYPE IN ALL CAPS FOREVER.

Seriously.

It's like a frat house Hell Week up in this house, and no one gets out without suffering a little bit right along side me. I could probably write an entire post just about things I've cried about whilst PMSing.

And whats terrible is that every month I think I must be going crazy. I think I am losing my mind, developing Alzheimer's, becoming bi-polar and developing a binge eating disorder and anger management problem, all at the same time. When all my symptoms become too anxiety inducing, or after I have an emotional meltdown of epic proportions {sorry Bill] I inevitably glance at a calendar and realize "Oh right. It's Mad Cow Season. Better order a pizza in advance for when I get off work and make sure Netflix has some chick flicks I wanna watch" 

Somehow, PMS sneaks up on you. Like once it's over you forget it ever happened and totally believe it will never happen again. Kind of like childbirth and hangovers.

One minute you're this ovulating sex pot who just wants to crawl all over her man and ride him like Sea Biscuit, and the next you're a weeping, screaming, binge eating puddle of yourself on the floor asking why nobody loves you and there's never any oranges.

Sometimes it makes total sense to me that women stayed home in the 40's and 50's. I mean back then they still knew so little about common ailments {evidence: they prescribed cigarettes for constipation-true story from my Nana, circa 1957} that they probably thought all women became possessed by some kind of devil for 1 week a month, and then bled him out the following week.

Which isn't all that far from the truth I don't think.

The Liebster Award

Today, I was given the Liebster Award by the very sweet and talented Sanny, from Unravelling the Mysteries of Life. Check her out if you have time, she's awesome.

To be honest at first I wasn't completely sure what this award was, so don't feel bad if you don't know either. Basically it's an awarded the bloggers give to one another {spreading the blogger love, gotta love that!} when they really love another person's blog, and it has under 200 followers. 

Word up, small blogs! 

Anyway, the way it works is you get the award from someone, and you do the following before passing it on:

1. Come up with 11 facts about yourself {this always makes my mind go blank and I'm all WHO AM I?!}

2. Answer the 11 questions the person who gave you the award asked

3. Choose other bloggers who have under 200 followers, and give them the award.

Ok....ready?!

Let's get our Liebster on.

My 11 Facts About Me:

1. I was born in California

2. I hate bleu cheese

3. I am the youngest of 4 kids

4. My top three favorite musicians/bands are: Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Blink 182

5. I am NOT a morning person

6. I don't like peanuts

7. I love Seattle exclusively because it rains a lot

8. I save the roses Bill gives me

9. The Notebook makes me cry every time

10. Grocery shopping makes me so tired that I usually order take out afterward instead of cooking the food I just bought

11. I used to pretend to be allergic to things when I was little so I could feel like I fit in with all the other kids who had allergies to things. Weird, I know.

And Now Sanny's 11 Questions:

1.     Do you believe in miracles? Yes, of course.

2.     What is the reason you started your blog? To have a place to write that's not a journal or a diary because I always lose those/never keep up with them, and there is more room for creativity in blogging.

3.     What is your favorite animal and why? BLACK BEARS and because they're amazing. Have you ever seen a bear who wasn't adorable?! NO.

4.     What do you appreciate the most about your life? The love, tenderness and compassion I've seen in others, and found in myself because of my kids.

5.     What was the last book you’ve read and what’s it about? The last book I finished was The Unbearable Lightness of Being. It's about a womanizer, his wife and his artist lover. It's better than it sounds.

6.     If you would go to a lonely island, which three things would you take with you? Dora the Explorers' backpack, Harry Potter's magic wand, and my boyfriend. Not my kids because an island alone sounds too much like a vacation right now.

7.     Do you think that failure is always a bad thing or can it also encourage you to retry or try it differently? Failure is definitely a depressing thing, but depending on the situation it can teach you to try. I think sometimes it teaches you that it's time to move on too.

8.     Have you ever had a life changing moment? And if so, what was it about? Probably the birth of my kids. When something that size emerges from your vagina, it's usually pretty powerful stuff.

9.     What is your favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy, but Parks and Recreation and The New Girl are close behind.

10.  Besides writing, what do you mostly do on your computer? Edit pictures/Pin shit on pinterest

11.  If you could change something in your life, what would you change? My constant dissatisfaction with where I'm at. I always want to be doing better, earning more, moving up, moving forward, blah blah blah. I have trouble sometimes living in the moment.

My Questions for the Bloggers I tagged:

1.What is your favorite character from a book and why?

2. Tree house, house boat or haunted house? Whichever you pick, you have to live there for 1 year.

3. What's the first thing I should know about you?

4. What are your standard questions that you ask on first dates? Gimme your top 3

5. Favorite one liner from a movie?

6. Any phobias?

7. What is your favorite blog that you read, regardless of how many followers they have?

8. What are your feelings toward asparagus?

9. What's your super power? Not what super power do you want, what super power do you already have?

10. Favorite ice cream flavor?

11. Biggest pet peeve?

The bloggers I am passing this award on to are:

Raising Kane

The Fox Confesses

Musings of an Unapologetic Dreamer

Le Cafe Du Jour

Simply Life

The Pirating of St. Lucia

Sooooo there aren't 11 of them, but still. It counts.

Happy Liebstering!

When

When I have nothing to do, I can always sit and daydream about you.

When I have nothing to say I can always say something to you.

When I can't think of a thing to write I can always write love letters to you.

Because no matter how blank my mind is or how dull my day is, there just seems to be no shortage of ways to say 

I love you

To you.

Recipe: Egg Muffin Things!

Breakfast foods are delicious, I think we can all agree on that!

But, a lot of them are bad for you and the ones that aren't never seem to fill me up, and bananas make my stomach hurt.

I only add that because people are always screaming about bananas in or around my breakfast foods, and I'm here to tell you: it's not like the mascot fruit of morning meals, ok?

Geeze.

Anyway, when I was in high school I could totally go all morning without eating a bite, and not feel hungry until around noon.

Yeah.

Not so much anymore.

It seems like every year older I get the earlier I need to eat. I should transition nicely into senior citizenship, seeing as how I'm only a cup of coffee with my 4 p.m. dinner away from being my Nana. 

Now that I do need breakfast, I've also learned I need protein.

So step the fuck off cereal, cuz you don't do shit for me!

The solution?

EGGS!

I love eggs in the morning. 2 hardboiled eggs will fill me up and carry me through to 11:30 for lunch without a problem. It's awesome.

But, after eating 2 hard boiled eggs every morning at work for 2 weeks, I'm fucking over it.

Looking for a way to spice it up, I went to the only place that understands me: Pinterest. 

There I found this recipe:

For egg sandwiches.

Really I didn't have much intention to make egg sandwiches, but I liked the idea of cooking eggs in a muffin pan in the oven instead of on the stove, and I thought to myself "Self! You could add shit to the eggs whilst they're cooking and make them even more delicious!"

It was a stroke of genius.

So, I made these:

Egg Muffin Things!

I know, brilliant name. Nobody steal it, ok?

Basically I just dropped some muffin liners into a muffin pan {because even with Pam eggs can stick to muffin pans REAL BAD. Just ask my friend Chris's old muffin pan. It's in the trash now.} and cracked one egg into each liner. 

Like so.

Then I chopped up some spinach and tomato to make these a little more flavorful but still healthy.

Then I baked them at 350 for 15 minutes.

After that amount of time they were still runny in the middle, so back in the oven they went.

Five minutes later they were perfect, and looked like this:

Before baking them I'd also thrown in some salt, pepper and garlic powder for taste.

In the end they were delicious. They tasted like the egg sandwich patties on the Egg McMuffins at McDonalds, only real and less greasy.

Next time I might do a few with salsa and a few with breakfast sausage or bacon and cheese or something.

Hey, you can't eat healthy ALL the time, right?!

{No, the answer is no. Stop saying yes, yes you can. BECAUSE YOU CAN'T.}

It's There

Sometimes when it's hard to not be with you,

When my bones ache for wanting to lay down beside you,

On nights when sleep seems impossible without you,

I think about all the things that mean you love me.

The kisses on my forehead when we're watching T.V.

The doors you hold open and the hand on the small of my back as we walk through a restaurant

The m&m's you always share with me and the forgiveness you've given me

The meals you've helped me cook and the breakfast you always appear grateful for and the shower that you always get up first to turn on

The texts and the letters and the thoughtful gifts

The flowers and the I Love You's and the I'm Sorries 

The songs and the mixed CD's and the way you hold my hand in the car

The favors and the loans and the wiped away tears

The cuddles and the trips and the surprises and the stories

The secrets and the moments where I think we couldn't get much closer 

I think about all the things that mean you love me, and then I can rest.

Because even when I can't be with you, when my head can't fall on your chest and your arms can't wrap around my waist,

Even when I can't physically touch your love, 

Sometimes it's enough just to know that it's there.

The Friday Diary: Photo Dump

Hellooooo Friday.

This Friday isn't as special as other Fridays, and definitely less special than last Friday. 

Why? Because I have to work this Friday AND it's not payday.

I know, the world weeps for me.

Anyway, let's wrap this bitch up.

 

...

This week has been interesting, what with my car decided it suddenly hates me and wants to commit vehicular suicide now and all. Aside from researching car loans with ridiculous interest rates and crying over my imagine-the-worst speculation over what could be wrong with my car, I haven't done much of anything. Seriously, I haven't done laundry like all week. It's a sad state of affairs up in here.

But I promise to get my shit together and clean this weekend before the dishes start growing limbs and the clothes start smelling like...Jackson.

If you need me this weekend I will be trapped under a pile of laundry.

...

Finished:

I finally finished all 8 seasons of Grey's and can now wait in dark, twisty angst with the rest of the super obsessed fan population for season 9. 

Is it wrong that I was a little OK with Lexie dying? 

Bitch annoyed the shit out of me.

...

Flashback:

This time last year, my business was failing, my relationship was falling apart and my roommate was moving out. We were struggling financially and I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

It was really fun.

It's a good thing I wrote all about it, so now we can all look back and remember fondly.

...

Pinteresting:

That's what I keep saying.

...

Failed:

I've so far gotten absolutely nowhere with operation: get Jack the fuck out of my bed. I can't even say I've really tried that hard.

But homeboy is getting big, and now it's just a matter of how many more kicks to the face and head butts to the ribs I will take before he has to endure banishment.

This little foot narrowly escaped kicked me in the face when it suddenly popped up on my shoulder during my 12 a.m. Pinterest session.

I want my damn bed back.

...

 Addicted:

I bought more $1 books from the Scottsdale library.

Someone, please, stop me. I can't help myself.

...

LOLZ:

I know. I'm a terrible person.

But you know you said that in Forest Gump's voice.

...

 And now, for some pictures from my phone.

Take it away, Blackberry!

1. Jackson enjoying an ice cream at Culver's, a rare treat. 

2 & 3. Jackson enjoying the first orange he peeled by himself. 

4. Late night Grey'sAnatomy and pretzel M&M's. {and why yes, my computer is missing like a million keys. Why? See pictures 1, 2, 3, 6 and 7} 

5. Lainie looking much too grown up and pretty for her age. 

6. Lainie and Jack staying up late to watch Wednesday night's sudden thunder and rainstorm. 

7. Jackson "washing the car" when we stopped for gas Friday afternoon. Adorable. 

8. I dyed my hair. The one on the left is the box color. The one on the right is what it did to my hair. Pretty, but not the same. Also it looks pink under the florescent lights in my office. Awesome. 

9. Lainie, rocking my aviator sunglasses better than I do. 

10. Clearly it's a huge deal when it rains in Phoenix 11. Veggie hummus wraps= Summer dinner at least once a week. 

Happy Friday.

Things I Need to Remember

Things I need to remember right now:

1. I am going to be ok.

2. WE are going to be ok.

3. I can do this.

4. I've done this, one way or another, for almost 9 years. I can do it for 9 more. And another 9 after that. Whatever it takes.

5. No matter what happens, we'll survive.

6. My kids will be ok without gymnastics lessons or soccer teams if they need to go without those things for right now. I can make up for them with love...and ice cream bribes.

7. I am only one person, doing the job of two. Even if I fuck up, I should be proud of myself for what I still achieve every day.

8. We've come a long way in the last year. We can still go further.

9. Don't give up. Don't believe that there isn't hope, or chance, or fortune or luck, or sheer magic. There is. But it only works if you believe in it.

10. I am going to be ok. We will all be ok. Maybe not right now, but in the end. If things aren't ok, then it's obviously not the end.

Please refer me back to this when I feel like I'm barely treading water.

Big Decisions and Irrational Fears

I have a big decision to make.

Really, it's probably an obvious choice.

You might read this and go "Well, obviously you should do XYZ, I mean DUH" 

and you might even be right.

But to me this is hard.

I need a new car.

I mean, not immediately. The one I have right now will probably run another few months. I mean hell it might even last another several months, or GASP! A year!

But it might not.

The tranny is slipping, and if being raised by a mechanic taught me anything, it's that you don't fuck with the transmission. When that starts to go, you're in for a lot of money in repairs, and probably a lot of smaller subsequent problems.

So I'm going to have my brother look at it, but I have a sinking feeling that it's going to need a re-build, or a new tranny, neither of which I can afford out of pocket right now.

And it has 130k miles on it {officially as of this evening actually} so is it worth putting a new tranny into, when it might not go another 30k miles? 

And if it does, by the time it gets that used up, would it be worth anything?

Isn't it better to trade in or sell a vehicle while it still has some semblance of value?

So if I end up needing a new car right now, I'm looking at most likely having to get a loan.

Sigh.

I've never had a car loan before. I've actually never had any kind of loan before. I had a credit card once when I was 18, and that went....exactly how you would expect a credit line belonging to an 18 year old to go. Loans kind of scare me. I mean you have interest rates and monthly payments and if you lose your job you lose your car and if you don't have a car it's really hard to find another job, let alone get to that job once you find it, and if you have a reposession on your credit you can pretty much kiss your chances of ever getting another car loan goodbye, and then the next thing you know you gain 40 pounds, start riding the bus and talking to yourself in public.

All because of that loan.

Maybe I'm exaggerating.

BUT MAYBE I'M NOT.

I don't know. The whole thing just freaks me out. 

And aside from that, I lock socking money away. 

No-I like hoarding money.

No joke.

I've been in positions where we lost everything and had nothing and I was backed into some pretty shitty corners because of lack of money.

So I like to try to save every single penny I possibly can from my checks.

Not saying it always works, but I like to try.

Having a car payment means that's 2 or 300 dollars less that I can squirrel away in case of another rainy day/month/year.

My other option is forgoing the loan and saving up cash to buy another car outright on good old Craigslist. But that will take time if I plan to get anything decent, and that means waiting and hoping my car will hold out even longer, and it's already low value and high miles diminishing and rising respectively until it's got a million miles, isn't worth anything, and becomes a very big and very expensive fort for the kids in the backyard.

Which they would love, but that's besides the point.

I'm sure this all sounds crazy.

It really shouldn't be this big of a deal to get a car loan I'm sure.

But I'm the girl who's always waiting for the ground to fall out beneath her, remember?

I'm the one who expects the worst, prepares for the worst, and then wishes and prays for the best.

As of right now I guess I'll start with having the tranny looked at and then go from there.

You never know, maybe the mechanic will say it's not slipping, it's dancing with joy and will most certainly last another 30 million miles.

A girl can dream.

Recipe: Individual Pot Pies

I have a confession. It's something you've probably already guessed or figured out about me on your own. I am a comfort food junkie. I love it. All kinds of it. If I could have a super power, it'd be really hard not to choose "Eating Everything Without Getting Fat or Unhealthy".

I like to think that's every girls dream. 

I digress.

Among the many comfort foods that I love, pot pies have always been one of my favorites.

I like them so much that when I first moved out on my own I even bought the shitty, death in a box 79 cent ones from Walmart because I was broke, but still couldn't live without their warm flaky goodness.

When I saw this recipe on Pinterest, I thought to myself "Self, you can totally make those"

And I did.

Except I didn't have Bisquick so I subbed in two sheets of seamless Pillsbury crescent roll dough instead, and cut out circles the size of the holes in my muffin pan, one for the top and one for the bottom of each pie.

I boiled 1 lb of boneless, skinless chicken tenders and shredded them, then mixed 1/2 of the chicken with 1 can cream of chicken soup, and 2 cups frozen mixed veggies.

I seasoned that mix with garlic powder, salt, pepper and cajun seasoning {i put that shit on everything}

I sprayed my muffin pan with a ton of Pam so the pies wouldn't stick, and placed a dough circle in each muffin hole.

I spooned the chicken mixture in, careful not to overfill the holes, sprinkled with cheese, and covered with the top dough circle.

Then I kind of tucked the top piece of dough down around the sides of the filling so it'd get as close to the bottom piece as possible hoping that the two pieces would rise to meet each other and hold the filling in, which they pretty much did.

Then I baked them at 350 for 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes, I pulled them out, brushed the tops with melted butter and sprinkled with Oregano and a little more garlic powder, and popped them back in the oven for another 10 minutes.

Perfection!

My kids went nuts over them. Lainie-who normally eats like a little bird, ate 3 of them, and wolfed them down at that, and Jackson, who has a big appetite but always fights me at dinner time over eating all his food these days, ate 2 of them with no complaint or struggle!

I call that a hearty success.

The Friday Diary: I Have Today Off, Suckers!

Happy Friday everybody!

Isn't Friday awesome?

Don't answer that, because I already know the answer, and the answer is fuck yes.

Fridays are especially awesome when you don't have to work. 

Which I don't. 

Suck it, corporate world.

Today, whilst I am laying in bed reading a stack of books {a chapter or two of each, rotating frequently of course} and eating Chinese food, I will leave you with a nice little recap of the nothing I did this week. 

Enjoy.

 

{It's not Friday until you get down to a little Enrique, ya heard?!}

...

Overheard:
Jackson: Lainie how does honey happen?
Lainie: Bees make honey
Jackson: No, bees make me cry when they sting me
Lainie: Yeah, but they also make honey.
Jackson: I don't believe you
Lainie: They do! They fly around getting flower juice from all the flowers, and that's called nectar. Then they mix it with pollen, which is like their fur, and that makes honey. Then they deliver it to the people and people sell it in stores.
Jackson: I don't believe you still.
Lainie: Then why don't you go ask mom?
Jackson: Because it's none of her business.

Sassy pants.

...

Watched:

Savages.
I was disappointed.
It's the movie a horny 19 year old stoner who loves UFC fights and carrying a hand gun down the waistband of his Hollister pants would write.
Oliver Stone. What happened to you??

...

Worn:

I don't normally do this. Post about the shit I wear. Mainly because I'm terrible at dressing myself.
But I went as a Hipster to work the other day and at the time it seemed noteworthy.
Not as much now.
I don't get fashion.

...

Pinterested:


Word.

...

Reading:


In typical "a million years behind every trend" fashion, I am finally reading this book.
It better be amazing.
I need some amazing, you feel me?

...

Loved:

I got flowers at work on Thursday!
And chocolate.
But I ate the chocolate before I could photograph it.
There's just no time to fuck around with cameras when chocolate is involved, people!
Anyway, Bill loves me. And I'm the luckiest girl in the history of ever.

...

And now for some phone pictures, because I've ran out of real things to tell you about:

1. Taking yet another picture of my son sleeping. Jack will surely be creeped out by all the pictures of him sleeping when he's older.

2. Our kitchen, finally kid-artworked-out. We always have a wall or a pantry door or a somewhere in our house that is dedicated to showing the kids' artwork. Lainie pointed out that we hadn't made one yet in our new house, so we rectified that lickety split. Looking at it makes me happy.

3. A nice round of Candy Land with the kids. I forgot how easy this game is. There's almost no thinking involved at all. Which is nice when it's Thursday night and you're tired. #lazyparenting. 4. Daycare is hard. 

Happy Friday everybody!