Our Thanksgiving

My super sweet surrogate sister Jenn came over and drank wine with me in the kitchen while I cooked, and Jackson watched movies and Lainie played with baby Theron.

Really that was all I could've asked for.

And after the mashed potatoes, sausage stuffing, candied yams, fried asparagus, herb butter turkey and two kinds of pie were all finished, I fell asleep thinking it was a pretty good Thanksgiving.

Hope yours was as good as mine. 

Family

Families are crazy.

We all know that.

Why do I get the feeling sometimes that my family is exceptionally crazy?

Like I am somehow related to a group of people who are more dysfunctional and fucked up than the average bunch of shitty family members that most people were blessed with?

Family has been on my mind a lot lately.

Mainly because it's now officially "the holiday season" and that means one thing: my dad is going to go batshit crazy, make everyone mad, and do a bunch of Scarlet O'Hara impressions until I get drunk and throw food at him, then he starts crying and handing out cans of vegetables to all the children, saying "Eat up little darlings!"

OK, maybe that's not exactly how holidays with him go, but it's pretty damn close. 

Does anyone remember Father's Day? 

I remember Father's Day.

I don't know what exactly holidays do to my father, that make him so certifiably insane, every Goddamn time, but it is truly remarkable how his insanity seems to increase, exponentially with each day of the year that is supposed to be a happy memory of family love and togetherness.

Take Thanksgiving, for example.

Every year, for a long time, my sister Erica hosted Thanksgiving. She was the mature, responsible one in the family, with a husband and a full set of silverware and all that. So every year, we would all head over there, and she would make an awesome meal, and I would avoid my dad by staying in the kitchen with Erica, and we could usually get through the whole day without fighting. But, since our family had a huge falling out over the last three years, primarily between me, my dad and my sisters, with my two sisters on one side of the divide, and me on the other, and my dad somewhere in the middle trying to stir up both sides, we no longer go to Erica's for any holidays. 

So there was a year where I went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. Stress free and wonderful. And last year, where I felt bad for my dad not having any where to go, so I ended up cooking. 

No big deal.

This year, it is the first year that my dad is not staying with some friend, or in between housing arrangements, and he actually seemed to have his shit together enough to possibly pull off hosting a holiday, so he volunteered to do it.

I knew in the beginning that this was probably too much for him to take on, but I didn't want to shoot down his dreams, so I encouraged him to try it. I figured at the worst, we'd have some mediocre food, and I'd get bombed on cheap wine while my dad passed out plastic spoons for everyone to cut their turkey with.

I was wrong.

My dad has clearly cracked under the pressure of hosting a holiday, and after a huge, white trash, front yard screaming match over a text message I didn't understand properly, he has locked himself in his house, and cancelled Thanksgiving all together.

So, this year I have every intention of staying home with some rum and coke, a stack of movies, and a delicious pot roast and mashed potatoes. 

I will be thankful with my kids, and do my own thing, and not have to please anyone.

Plus I get to stay in my pajamas, and I don't have to share my french onion dip with anybody.

Winning.

Being Thankful

So, since Thanksgiving is this week, I wanted to take a moment to be thankful.

Sometimes I am guilty of getting so caught up in the day to day pettiness of life, that I forget what awesome blessings I have been lucky enough to receive.

Thank you, for my babies.

For my two beautiful children who have both changed me, and taught me so much, in such different ways.Who saved my life, and drove me crazy, and gave me something to keep going for.

A reason to be better.

Thank you, for good music that makes my drive to work bearable.

For songs that Bill and I sing in the car, songs that remind me of different phases of my life, and all the different places I've been.

For the lyrics that remind me of how far I've come, and how far I have left to go.

Thank you, for hotels in canyons in the middle of nowhere.

Places where stars come out like fireflies in Summer time, and there is nothing to do but get lost in a love so deep and sweet, you wish with all your might to never resurface.

Thank you, for Bill.

For the love that took me by surprise, and hit me like a train. For a man that is patient, and accepting, understanding and supportive, who knows me, sometimes better than I know myself. For a man that is thoughtful, and constant, and never gives up on me no matter how much I make him crazy. A man that has always, always been there.

For the moments that take my breath away, and the amazing feeling of loving someone with all my heart, and being loved just as much in return.

Thank you, for texts on the way to work that bring tears to my eyes because they are so heartfelt and touching.

Thank you, for friends, new and old.

The fairweather flyers that came and went as easily as storm clouds in the desert. They taught me about loyalty.

And the dedicated partners in crime, that are always around, even if they're not always in view, who pick me up and brush me off, who pour me drinks and hold my hand, and laugh at my jokes and dry all my tears. They taught me about love, and the ties that bond.

And for new friends, like Matt and Vanessa who make every day at my mundane job tolerable, by making me laugh, putting up with my wildly inappropriate jokes, and bringing me chocolate and Dr. Pepper when I've had a bad day.

Last but not least, thank you for family.

Some of them I was born with, some of them adopted me along the way, but each one of them means more to me than I can explain.

My dad, Tony, Lucia, my brother, Jen, Cheryl and my favorite cousins {who know who they are}.

Here is to all the things that give me a reason to smile, laugh, and sometimes cry a little.

The things in my life and in this world that remind me to feel, and to live, and to keep seeing all the joy and adventure, in the simplest most unexpected places.