Phoenix Eats: Rehab Burger Therapy

I love burgers.

It's one of my weaknesses.

A good, juicy, medium burger, a little crispy on the edges with nice flavorful meat....holy wow.

Add some cold, crunchy pickles, some Thousand Island and grilled onions, and you basically have my heart.

I search all the time for a really, really good burger place.

It has to have it all, too: excellent fries that aren't cold, stiff, or flavorless, good quality, juicy meat that is seasoned just right, and of course plenty of awesome sauces for me to dip my stuff in.

I'm a cumpulsive dipper.

Eat with me more than once and you can memorize my repitoir by heart: Waitress brings the food, I get excited like a little kid, as she's backing away slowly and offering the obligatory "anything else I can get you?" I am grabbing her by the elbow and asking for every sauce possible. I need ranch, spicy mayo, chipotle aeoli, the works, WHATEVER YOU HAVE THAT MY FRIES CAN SWIM IN.

Recently I found this place in Old Town Scottsdale.

No, not technically Phoenix, but really most of the food joints I recommend are not technically Phoenix.

Locals know that the word "Phoenix" can generally refer to anything in a reasonable distance from where you are. Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Ahwatukee, parts of Mesa, Paradise Valley and even sometimes West Phoenix can really mean Peoria, Glendal, even Surprise.

It's all relative, baby.

Back to the point: food.

So I found this place, and after the first BITE I was mad in love.

The fries are amazing. They have what Rehab calls "Mermaid dust" on them, and it's a zesty, lemony, salty seasoning that goes so good with ranch you'll want to punch yourself in the face.

Also, they have spicy Ketchup, y'all. That's taking dipping sauces to a whole new level.

And then there are the burgers.

Juicy, meaty, flavorfull and cooked just right.

If you like your burgers the way I described them above then when you go, ask for this:

"Relapse size MacGnarly burger, medium, extra pickles, fries, chipotle for dipping and a Coke, extra ice."

BAM.

Just made your day, didn't I?

Phoenix Eats

{photo source}

I wanted to post a recipe here today, but I honestly haven't made it to the store in so long, meals are getting down right pathetic around here. Last night we had corn muffins and black bean salad, because all my veggies were about to go bad. 

I know. For shame.

I decided instead to share some of my favorite places to eat in Chandler and Phoenix. 

I love food, and I love trying new restaurants, and the longer I live here, the more I tend to veer away from chain restaurants when I can. More often than not, the food is bland, uncreative, and over priced.

And don't even get me started on the portion sizes, y'all.

Overtime I've come up with a good list of the best places to eat that are not chain restaurants.

Unfortunately that means that if you don't live in the Phoenix Metro area, you won't get to enjoy any of these little gems. 

But if you do, or you happen to be visiting, you know where to go.

Pitta Souvli 

This is one of my favorite Greek/Mediterranean places to eat. It's small and intimate, and at night the patio is so pretty, with little white twinkling lights all over.

The food is good, well priced, an the wait staff is all friendly.

I've never had a bad dinner here, and it wouldn't be a terrible place to take a date, either.

Chicago Hamburger

Two words: cheese fries. This place has the BEST cheese fries in the world. So cheesy and so flavorful, and you get a huge boat thing of them which you can then smother in celery salt and cajun spice, like I do. They're so cheesy in fact, you have to eat them with a fork.

Their shakes are amazing too, especially the peanut butter and the banana ones.

They're closed on Sundays, and it's pretty small inside so it can get kind of crowded, but none the less worth it for a good junk food blow out on a Saturday afternoon.

Julio's Too

I'm not sure if this technically qualifies as a chain or not, since there are 3 locations in Arizona, but either way, it's awesome. One of the few Mexican restaurants that haven't started charging 10 bucks for a burrito, and their food is amazing. I go here for lunch during the week all the time because I can get in and out in a half hour, and for under 10 dollars for a huge plate of food an a drink and the chips and salsa are free. Holler!

Chase's Diner

I almost hesitate to even put this one on here, because it's still sort of a secret and therefore one of the few places in the valley where you can go for breakfast on a weekend without waiting for 30 minutes or more for a table. I've never had dinner here, only breakfast, but goddamn. Their breakfast is so good. Jackson cleans his plate every damn time. The skillets and the french toast are the best, FYI. I went here for breakfast last weekend with both the kids and my dad, and for all four of us, drinks, coffee and an extra side of hash browns, we got out of there for 30 bucks. For breakfast these days, that's pretty good. 

Well, I hope if you live around these parts you'll hit one of these fine establishments up, or if you're traveling out here anytime soon, now you know where to eat.

Stay the hell out of Applebee's if you can help it.

The Friday Diary: Where I Make It Up To You

 Hellooooo Friday.

I would like to take a moment and apologize to the imaginary people that I imagine read this blog, for my sporadic and probably very depressing posting lately.

I've been a bad blog friend. 

BUT LOOK! I make it up to you at the last minute by writing a Friday diary.

Can we be friends again?

I sure hope so.

...

Overheard this week:

Jackson: I am too full to finish my dinner. Can I have ice cream now?

Me: If you're too full to finish your food, how do you have room for ice cream in your tummy?

Jackson: I have a different tummy just for ice cream and there's room in there because you haven't given me any ice cream.

Touche.

...

Gave in this week:

On Twitter.

Yes, I did it.

{I can literally hear Bill laughing at me right now}

I know, I was ashamed of me too at first.

But it's not so bad! It's just scary and confusing and very lonely at first...Plus I may have openly confessed to stalking a fellow blogger on my Twitter feed for all the world to see. 

I wonder if I can update my blog from prison.

...

Relaxed:

On Tuesday instead of going out to eat on my lunch break, I ran an errand, grabbed some Starbucks and hit the library. 

I pillaged their section where they sell used books for obscenely cheap, and grabbed 4 books for $5. Not a bad lunch hour if you ask me.

...

Pintastrophy:

I tried making these potato things that I found on Pinterest.

The picture made them look so delicious, and the instructions were easy enough.

As you can see, mine didn't turn out quite the same.

They were tasty and all, but they never really got crispy except around the very outer edge, and no matter long I cooked them they never got really cooked down at the bottom where they were attached to the body of the potato.

Oh well. It was a nice idea and I wasn't going to use those potatoes for anything anyway.

...

Gifted:

When Bill came back {finally} from being out town {for like a million years} he was sweet enough to bring me this little guy, who lives on my desk now.

I named him Fergus. He's kind of a naughty bastard.

...

Made:

Lainie got her craft on and made my dad {several} very pretty birthday cards with my scrapbook paper while I was cleaning and not paying attention. 

I hope he appreciates all 20 of them.

Note to self: buy more glitter.

...

Reminisced:

All this cancer business has made me very aware of the past, and it's been heavily on my mind lately. So on 4th of July before we got down to some hardcore celebrating, I took Jack to the little park in the neighborhood I grew up in where I played when I was younger. It was overcast and cool, and the perfect day to sit on a bench and remember.

P.S. Jackson needs to stop growing up. Like now.

Laughed:

And now for a laugh, something I was introduced to by Motley Mama, and have not been able to stop reading since:

Honest Toddler on Twitter.

{for those of you who are as new to twitter as I am, start at the bottom and read up. I learned that today. You're welcome.}

Happy Friday!

Our Memorial Day Weekend: What We Ate

This Memorial Day weekend could've just as easily been called "This weekend when I ate everything terrible for me in a span of three days"

I literally feel like a beached whale sitting on my couch right now. 

I hate running, but if I could muster the strength to get off the couch, I'd run like 5 miles as fast as possible, to try to burn some of this off.

Unfortunately my huge ankles are weighing me down. 

The last two pictures are of Bill and his map-I mean and me, in Wickenburg on Sunday.

We drove up planning to do some offroading, but never really did much because we didn't have GPS and are still getting the hang of off roading. It's kind of scary if you've never done it before!

Fun though.

We also had some awesomely fried and fattening Mexican food for lunch that day, and a huge dinner of gumbo and jambalaya the night before. I don't have pictures of that though.

So see?

It's even worse than what you see here!

Hope you all had a great, and slightly less fattening Memorial day weekend.

Spicy Black Bean Salad

I found the original recipe for this salad on Pinterest, where I basically find everything good in my life {except my kids and Bill}.

The original recipe looked good, but it called for a few things I didn't have on hand and when I made this I was hot and tired and had only had a can of plain tuna and an apple for lunch, which had been roughly 7 hours prior-a smooth move which I don't recommend. 

Needless to say, I wasn't going to the store to get shit like lime, cilantro and sugar, so I made do with what I had.

It turned out amazing none the less, and I ate almost the entire bowl of it by myself, completely negating the calorie deprivation I put myself through all day long.

This is why I'm fat. 

Modified Spicy Black Bean Salad

What you need:

1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed

1 vine ripened tomato

1 ripe but still somewhat firm avocado

1 red bell pepper

1 tsp minced garlic

a few shakes of Tobasco

a big ole tablespoon of your favorite salsa or pico de gallo

The making of this is pretty easy: 

Rinse and drain the beans, chop the veggies and combine everything except the avocado at first.

Add a dash of salt and pepper if you like it, and let the mix set for a bit so the flavors all come out and the beans soften just a bit.

Add the avocado when you're ready to eat it, and enjoy!

If you're going to refrigerate the leftovers, sprinkle a little lemon juice on it and smoosh some plastic wrap right down on top of it, and all around the inner sides of the bowl it's in so the avocado won't go brown.

Also, be careful. This shit is addicting and delicious but sneakily filling.

You will be happily pigging out, and all of a sudden BAM, you are super full, because those beans hit you like a ton of bricks.

The Friday Diary: Our Week in Phone Photos

It's Friday, and I am tired.

Who isn't exhausted by Friday, honestly?

Well, let me rephrase: Who over the age of 21 with a real job and responsibilities isn't exhausted by Friday?

When I hear people at work talking about going out Friday night, I cringe.

I can't imagine going home, taking off my stuffy work clothes, just to shower and do my hair and make up and try to pick out a decent outfit all over again, and then cram my poor tired footsies back into a pair of heels, to go stand all night in a crowded, loud bar with bad music and expensive drinks.

Really, I can't imagine going to do anything after I get home and get out of my work clothes. 

I'm lucky if I make it to the grocery store to get food for dinner.

Honestly most Fridays I don't. 

If there's nothing in the house for dinner, we're getting pizza.

Maybe I'm getting older, maybe it's the job I'm working, but by the end of the work week I am freaking exhausted.

So for the Friday Diary this week you get a whole bunch of pictures off my phone, that somewhat tell the story of what we did this week.

To be honest it's mostly pictures of what we ate.

Clearly I'm into food.

...

How's unpacking going, you ask?

Homemade chicken burritos with all the best trimmings.

Homemade chicken fingers, pasta and salad. This dinner was suggested by my friend Chris at work who's been raising kids for almost as long as I've been alive. She said she guaranteed my kids would eat everything on their plate. 

She was right.

$200.00 and trip to Target later, and the kids have new shoes and Summer clothes. This is Lainie's new favorite outfit {and mine too}. Little girls are just adorable in rompers.

The first Starbucks I've had in forever. I was legitimately addicted to iced white chocolate mochas last summer, so now every time I think I want one I talk myself out of it.

But I had so much cleaning to do on Sunday, and it was so nice outside, that I decided it would be ok for the kids and I to walk over to Starbucks and indulge.

I did end up getting a shit load of stuff done that day....

When the kids won't stop fighting, I make them do yard work. 

Works every time. 

Oh and stop judging me for the size of my weeds, ok, whenever I try to go pull them I get hot or thirsty or itchy or distracted by something shiny/edible.

Frozen yogurt from Zoyo in Chandler. How did I never know until now how AWESOME self serve frozen yogurt places were?!

This is what cleaning all day does to my beauty regimen. 

Oh who the hell am I kidding, I always look like this.

Lunch

Look, it rained in Phoenix!!!!

Happy Friday!

Our Weekend, Or Dear Channing Tatum: I Get It Now

As usual, no pictures of our amazing weekend were taken, but it was a great weekend none the less.

After a full day of cuddling with Jackson and teaching him how to use chop sticks, {which he picked up like a pro by the way} on Saturday, I spent a wonderful Saturday night with Mr. Becker, including a delicious dinner at Blue Burger in Chandler, and a homemade Pizookie {chocolate chip WALNUT, but who's into semantics?!} and a million and one laughs.

Then Sunday we made breakfast, and went to see 21 Jump Street, which was HILARIOUS.

I almost peed my pants laughing.

And as a side note, I have never considered myself one to like "pretty boys"- you know, Abercrombie and Fitch looking jock types, with the All-American bone structure and pale blue eyes that make any cheerleader drop her under-roos before you can say "Prom Queen", and therefor I have never thought Channing Tatum did much for me, and actually totally didn't understand the fascination with him. To be honest I thought he was kind of a shitty actor who just did sappy, low brow chick flicks like "Dear John" and I honestly considered myself "above" a crush on him.

But for some reason, after 21 Jump Street, ladies: I get it. 

I GET IT.

Anyhow, after the movie Bill and I appropriately stuffed ourselves on some delicious BBQ, and ended our weekend together with a few kisses and several "I Love You's"

I'm telling you, he's just the sweetest.

It's been a relaxing and fun weekend, right before an awesome 4 day work week.

Thank you Good Friday, and Canadian bosses who give us literally every holiday possible off from work.

Except flag day....wtf, why not flag day?!

Happy Sunday.

The Paleo Diet, Take 3

Sweet mother of God I am tired. 

The past two nights in a row I have passed out - and I mean passed out: mouth open, shamelessly drooling but definitely not snoring because I don't do that, a BOMB could go off and it wouldn't wake me, deep asleep, no later than 9:45 p.m.

But I wake up just as tired in the morning. I stare at my phone, blaring it's awful alarm sounds at me through one half open eye, just wishing I could stay in bed a little longer. At some point during the day, I hit a freaking wall and all I want to do is crash and pass out under my desk. 

This is usually when you can find me getting my second cup of coffee or shoveling Girl Scout cookies in my face like a junky shovels coke up their nose, only to later be crouched behind my desk getting the sugar crash sweats and shakes. 

It's bad. 

What I concluded from all of this recently is that I desperately need to get back on the Paleo wagon. 

It's serious. 

I fell off in a big way earlier this month...or at the end of last month....See?! My whole concept of time is skewed!! When I got an ear infection that caused weird stabby head pain, which I was all too ready to blame on carb withdrawl. 

It was a desperate attempt to excuse myself for going face first into a loaf of garlic bread, I know that now. 

But alas the ear infection is gone, my muffin top is back and my face is breaking out like Chris Angel from a minimum security prison.

So, back on the Paleo wagon I go. 

One thing I know is I need to kind of ease into this shit, and I need to stop being so damn lazy about cooking at night when I get off work. 

Ok, that's two things I know, but still. 

This diet does not work if you eat out every night, or even twice a week. You might be able to squeak by with eating out once a week, if you go to a sit down restaurant that has good, meaty salads or you hit a fast food joint that will give you a double cheeseburger, protein style, but it's not quality food and the contents are suspect, and if you're me no matter how much you say you won't eat some all of your boyfriends fries, you know damn well that you will. 

So it's best just to eat at home. 

BUT the good news is you can still have dark chocolate, wine and tequila, and amazing salads like this:

What more does a girl need?!