4 things that are good right now

Pools that feel like soft velvet or clouds, and late evening swims after dusk.

People who help, and love you the most consistently when things are hard.

This neat website where you can look at the weather history for any month, any city, any year, all the way back to the 50's. I'm pretty super stoked for the highest temperature in September to only be 109.

This song:


Ok, so maybe it was another rough week.
We keep going.

Happy 4th of July. May your libations be cold, and your hot dogs never shorter than your buns.

Three things that are good right now

1. This song:
 
Part hood, part good.

2. Gifts of Challah bread from people that love me, so I can have challah bread banana french toast, with strawberries and syrup and a little powdered sugar. My favorite.

3. This video:



So maybe it was a rough week.
But we carry on.
There's always hope that there's good news around the corner...or at the very least, pizza.

Six Things That Are Good Right Now

1. Making bacon and fried egg sandwiches for Jackson in the morning.

He likes to make the toast, put the mayonnaise on it, and crack the eggs into the skillet. It's pretty cute.

2. Swimming, swimming, swimming.

I don't think I'll ever live somewhere by myself that has a pool I'm responsible for, but I don't know how we ever lived without one two doors down, that we didn't have to pay for or maintain.

Hallelujah.

3. Roasted chicken flavored couscous with diced tomatoes and cucumbers, and hella minced garlic.

My addiction.

4. Sister Wives.

I've binged watched four seasons. I do not want to be a sister wife, I can not stop watching the damn show.

5. This song:


6. These kids:

Happy Friday

The Friday Diary: Yes it's short, but Teddy Roosevelt is riding a moose, so there's that.

Happy Friday, loves!

I bet you thought that now that I don't work a "real" job anymore, that the Friday Diary would go away.

Wrong!

Can't stop, won't stop.

Today is going to be stupid busy though, so it will be brief today.

Lainie's birthday is Monday, but her birthday dinner is tonight, so I have a bajillion errands to do to get ready for it, because I am a procrastinator/asshole. 

I have to buy all of the white candles, find little cauldrons somewhere for ice cream, figure out what to even make for dinner, clean all the things, decorate, find a wizard hat, get Wednesday to wear a tiny witch hat, and not punch anybody.

Did I mention I also have a consultation with a potential client at noon and have to pick the kids up from school by 2:30?

Bring it, Friday.

Also, I have a wedding tomorrow, and a photo shoot Sunday morning. Early. And far away. 

Who wants to drive me in exchange for coffee, and my sparkling early-morning personality? Eh? Any takers? 

Yeah, didn't think so.

Unfortunately, I think that's all for today, because I'm out of coffee and it's time to take the kids to school. 

I promise to come back Monday with lots of pictures from the party, if I survive this weekend.

Happy Friday, my darlings.

Keep it in your pants.

The Friday Diary: It's Thursday and I'm getting deep

Hi Everyone.

It's Wednesday, I know, but I am photographing two weddings this weekend, one Friday and one Saturday, which means I will not be able to write you a diary on Friday. Instead I'll be running around Cave Creek taking pictures of a bride and trying not to stress-vomit.

I'm a little nervous.

 

Anyway, let's do this.

This week was...alright.

I had a cold in the beginning of the week, and I think I pulled some sort of muscle, running less than half a block. I feel like that sentence is the answer to "How do you know when you're old and grossly out of shape?"
But we all survived and that's what matters.
The highlight was probably Saturday when I was surprised with this sweet ass coffee mug from Bill out of nowhere, and it was quite literally one of the most exciting moments of my life....which says absolutely nothing about my life. The little buttons and sliders on it are moveable, and I basically can let other photographers know exactly who they're dealing with, in a very smug and subtle way.

I've been thinking a lot, this week and lately overall, about the future.
Where I want to be, and also who I want to be there with.
What's important to me, and what's really just shit I always thought was supposed to be important.
For instance, I know I don't want any more kids of my own. Step kids? Awesome. Growing another human in my lady oven? Not gonna happen. I also know I want to get married at some point. I've been on the fence about this for a long time, going back and forth over whether or not it was super important to me, but I've realized over the last year that it is, and that's OK.
More short term, I've been thinking a lot about my financial future. My career. Where I work, what I do, and where we'll live, even.
It's exciting and it's scary and I'm impatient but I'm happy.
So I guess this is a period of being in flux for us, my little family, and I'm trying to adapt to that, while also moving forward, and it's both really fun, and hard.

Maybe that was a little deeper than you thought things would get in a Friday Diary. but then again it is Thursday afterall.
But if you're still feeling vulnerable and overly soaked in emotion, here's a gratuitous picture of Ryan Gosling without a shirt to make you feel better:

You're welcome.

Happy Friday {on Thursday}.
Keep it in your pants.

P.S.: Hi Carole with an E, Love Sarah with an H. :)


The Friday Diary: Yes, I'm already talking about Christmas

Hi There.

Happy Friday.

I am trying really hard to make casual small talk first, and to act like this is just any old rambly Friday Diary, and not just jump right into CHRISTMAS, but I'm failing at it, so lets get this over with.

I know, we all hate the girl who is already talking about Christmas and it's not even Halloween, but you're going to have to deal with it, because last night it smelled like winter outside, and now I have the Christmas fevers.

I love giving gifts. Seriously, love it.

But I have awful anxiety about it at the same time.

I obsess and plan for months, trying to figure out the absolute perfect gift, only to think I have come up with it, feel quite smug and proud of myself, purchase it, wrap it, and then instantly regret it, as well as every other gift choice I've ever made in my life.

I become convinced it's shitty and stupid, and they won't "get it" or won't like it, or it will sit in their cupboard collecting dust for an entire year while they pretend they loved it {side-eye: that tablet I got for Bill last year}.

I pester people for weeks, even months, about what they want for Christmas, and get so full of rage that I want to suffocate them with smiling santa wrapping paper when they shrug and say "I don't know" or do the coy little "you don't have to get me anything" bullshit. You know now that I am obviously going to get you something either way, so hows about you give me some idea of something you might like, and make this easier on both of us? That way I don't have a breakdown in Target, and you don't get a singing Bass fish for your wall.

Everybody wins.

The caveat here is that the super infuriating charming thing about me, is that I never admit to what I want either.

I feel shy and self conscious asking for gifts.

I feel like anything I really want is either too small and stupid {read: some bacon and 5 dollar wine} or way too ridiculously huge {read: Paris sounds fun}.

I don't want to be the girl who asks for a keychain, even if I really needed a fucking keychain, and I don't want to be the girl that expects you to blow whole paychecks on her either.

So I blush, sweat, get really nervous and awkward, and feel like the girl who used to live in a junkyard and now goes to school in Scottsdale and doesn't know how to act around people who always wear shoes in public.

That's a true story...but for another day.

So what do you do about Christmas gift giving?

Do you ask for things, or do you squirrel away little hints through out the year, and then bust out like the most amazing gift ever that no one ever saw coming?

Are you a great gift giver, or are you the person in every family who is always giving women Walmart lotions, and men subscriptions to Fishing Monthly?

Tell me your secrets, tell me your strategy.

Tell me what the fuck you want for Christmas.

Also, if someone were to beg me for a few ideas as to what to get me this year, none of the stuff below would piss me off, were I to receive it by some crazy random happen stance. 

Top Left: Kelly Moore Camera gear bag

Top Right: Hi my name is mark women's shirt

Bottom Left: Hi my name is mark men's shirt {shut up, they're comfortable and majestic as fuck}

Bottom Right: Canon 85 mm f/1.8 lens

The Friday Diary: Hustle Hard

{this picture has nothing at all to do with Friday. It's just that it's Friday and I think we should all look at hot guys more often. You're welcome.}

 

It's FRIDAY everyone!

I don't know about y'all but this week flew right by for me. I kept thinking it was a day behind, every single day this week.

Right now, it's Friday and I'm wearing jeans and I still keep thinking it's Thursday.

Anyway.

Our week was good, and filled with food, which you've probably seen if you follow my Instagram.

I think the last 6 pictures have all been foods, and it's starting to look pretty sad.

I'll have to post some pictures of my cats or something soon to remind people I'm still really cool, and do things other than eat. Like hang out with cats in my pajama pants. Alone. On a Friday night.

 

On second thought I should just stop Instagramming.

 

This weekend is going to be busy, which is becoming a more regular thing these days.

I'm both happy and anxious about that, because on the one hand, it means I'm getting business, but on the other, it means that as long as I am working full time, I won't have a day off for basically ever.

It's a mixed blessing, but I'm the happiest I've been in a long time right now, so I won't complain.

{speaking of business, I re-designed my website and you should go look at it}

 

On Saturday mornings, Lainie and I like to sneak away and go to Starbucks, just the two of us, if I can find someone to hang out with Jackson.

She usually gets a coffee-free Frappucino, but this weekend I think I'm going to introduce her to the amazingness of that which is PUMPKING EVERYTHING.

I'll post pictures.

 

Also, it's been a while since I've posted any of my favorite shit from Pinterest, so here.

I love this picture so much, I want to hang it in every room of my house and then put it on a t-shirt.

My "friend" Camdon {the word friend is used loosely here, because a true friend would never crush my dreams this way} said that the word hustle doesn't mean what I think it means in this picture.

So I said that he's not nearly thug enough to make those kinds of wild accusations, and then I burned his house down.

Well, I didn't actually, because he's in Ohio and I don't have the attention span required to drive that far, but I thought about it.

He's lucky I'm even still speaking to him.

 

I've only had one cup of coffee, so I'm afraid this might be all you get from me right now.

Maybe I'll come back later and WRITE ALL THE THINGS when I'm more awake.

 

If not, I'll see you Monday, have a great weekend, and don't get pregnant.

 



The Friday Diary: Better late than never, and it's still technically Friday, so just pipe the fuck down.

Hi, it's 11:14 at night, which makes this post very late, but technically still on Friday, SO IT COUNTS.

How are you all?

This week was a mix of very exciting, and very stressful all at the same time, so I am happy, and also tired, and please bring me chips.

So many big things are happening right now!

I got a new camera!

I got a new lens for my new camera!

It's under 90 degrees in Phoenix right now, which means it's Fall and I put Pumpkin spice in my coffee today!

Season 10 of Grey's Anatomy premiered! 

Also, I am shooting a wedding for the very. first. time. tomorrow.

And a newborn shoot on Sunday.

Like a super new newborn.

Born on Friday, newborn.

Oh my God, you guys. So many things.

The stressful side of things?

I got a new camera because my camera {which was a gift, and I loved it more than anything else I've ever owned ever} broke on Monday. 

That was stressful.

Lainie was completely ape-shit this week. I think we're in full on pre-teen girl phase, and it sucks hard. She growls, she throws things, she called me an asshole.

Yep. You heard {read?} that right.

Asshole.

That was stressful. I cried. There is not a carbohydrate left in this house that I didn't eat.

Also, I ran out of sugar for my coffee like two days ago and keep forgetting to buy more, and I get the whole "first world problem" thing, but that doesn't make it less of a problem, ok you guys?

I'm trying to just focus on the positive things {Fall! Pumpkins! Photography!} and not let the lack of sugar and being called an asshole by my daughter get to me.

This weekend will be busy, and exciting, and busy.

I'm unbelievably nervous about this wedding tomorrow - hence why I'm writing a blog post at 11 pm instead of sleeping - but I'm super stoked, and I feel, deep down, past all the anxiety sweat and nerves, really ready.

I was made to do this, and I am so ready to take the next step.

Still, pray for me that I dont vomit on the bride, trip over anything important, or say fuck loud enough for anyone to hear me.

If you need me tomorrow before the wedding, I'll be driving around industrial neighborhoods in Phoenix looking for Junkyards to do an engagement photo shoot in next weekend.

I live kind of a weird life, I'm aware.

What are you doing this weekend?

Happy Friday, y'all. 

Don't puke on any brides or new babies.

The Friday Diary: Inappropriate work attire, meeting my idol, and how Miley Cyrus ruined my blog

Today isn't jeans day at work, so I decided to still be a little casual. Reppin' the Hi My Name Is Mark and some wrinkly ass pants at work today.

{don't worry, I wore a cardigan over the shirt. I'm not that badass.}

 

So, it's Friday everybody!

We all made it!

We're gonna be alright.

 

This week was crazy busy.

Work, kids, small business. Holy wow.

I'm ready for some wine and girl time, which makes it a good thing that Lucia and Ryder are coming over tonight.

Lucia, if you're reading this, bring wine.

 

Yesterday, I had the honor of taking my favorite wedding photographer in the valley to lunch at The Herb Box. You can read more about that here, but basically, long story short: SQUEE!

It was awesome.

 

Something I learned this week: posting a video of Miley Cyrus swinging nakies on a wrecking ball is very polarizing.

I got some texts and emails saying "I love that song! Go Miley!" and then I got some that were all "How DARE YOU MAKE ME WATCH THIS SMUT?! You have a daughter, you should know better!"

Lesson learned. I will always probably offend everyone.

Pretty ok with that.

 

Anyhow, that's our week, that's our world.

This weekend will be busy with a wedding photography consultation, a family photo shoot, and lots of work on my website.

Hopefully somewhere in there somebody will save me with a bottle of Crown and good company.

Accepting applicants for that now.

 

Happy Friday, lovers.

Keep it in your pants.

 

The Friday Diary: a day early, and still almost completely useless

Today the Friday Diary comes to you early, because honestly I am up to my lady balls in shit to do, between the kids, my full time job, and trying to get my photography business off the ground. 

So hi, it's not really Friday, but pretend with me ok?

Also I am off tomorrow, which makes it sort of Friday for me.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

This week has been crazy cakes, y'all.

I forgot, after shutting my doula business down almost two whole years ago, how much work it takes to get a small business going. 

I also happen to be testing the waters in a pretty saturated market.

Did you know there are over 1000 wedding photographers in Phoenix?

Of course they range in skill from absolutely shit, to unbelievably amazing, but still.

The absolutely terrible photographers are still booking weddings, and I am getting emails asking to haggle over $150 portrait sessions.

Seriously you guys, I  am offering you a fully personalized, BEAUTIFUL portrait session, and you want Walmart picture studio prices?

Face palm.

Anyway, I soldier on, in pursuit of a career that offers room for freedom and creativity, at the expense of non-stop hard work.

A girl can dream, anyway, right?

In other news. it rained a lot this week, starting with a full on down pour that woke me up Sunday morning.

It was raining hard and steady, and I languished in bed as long as possible listening to it on the window panes.

I love rain.

Lainie learned how to ride her bike with no training wheels, and she's a full on mobile kid these days, taking off on her bike as soon as we get home, and roving around the cul de sac until I force her to come in. 

Remember the first time you had wheels?

You can see her in action here

Anyway, that about wraps it up for the week.

Wish me luck on my new venture, and visit the other blog from time to time if you have an interest in photography.

If you could do anything for a living, what would it be?

The Friday Diary: August goal wrap up, and September goal introduction, and probably some other nonsense

 

Today is Friday, and also the end of August.

How did this happen?

This month is just...over.

Crazy.

I suppose that means that along with wrapping up the week, we also have to wrap up the month goal, which was to start writing my book.

I actually call this goal a win, because I did write four chapters.

And then deleted them.

But then saved them!

But then rewrote them.

At this pace, I should have a legit book by the year 2043.

September's goal is to send out surprise letters and packages to people I care about.

No emails, less Facebook, more real, tangible stuff that says "Hey, you....I care about you, and I think about you and stuff. But not in a weird way....unless thinking about us being ninja turtles for Halloween is weird, in which case I think about you in very weird ways"

 

September may also be the month that I lose the majority of my friends.

 

Also, this month I will be starting a new venture in my professional life.

I'm getting back into taking photographs for people, and already have a few sessions booked.

I'm excited, nervous, anxious, and excited.

This is a semi-confusing time for me, as you can see.

 

Anyhow, that's my world right now.

I hope y'all are good.

I promise I'll start posting more again soon.

 

In the meantime, happy friday.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Or especially anything I would do.

The Friday Diary: I have a coffee maker and an Instagram! Guess which one I'm more excited about

Hey, hey, it's Friday!

I thought we'd never make it.

This week was not the most amazing in the history of ever, but hey, we all survived, right?

Right.

 

It's been a while since I've written a legit Friday Diary, and I feel like we have a lot to catch up on with each other.

First of all, I finally bought a real coffee maker.

I know, I know, y'all have been waiting with baited breath for me to make this purchase for so long.

I get it.

I finally have one, his name is George, we've been together for two days, and we're already basically inseperable.

 

Also, speaking of getting with the times, I got a Smartphone.

It's hardcore crazy to me, and I literally can't stop touching it.

My phone before was an ancient Blackberry that once upon a time was Bill's, and it literally did nothing.

Actually by the time I got my new phone, it really didn't even make calls anymore unless it was plugged into the charger, with your finger holding the batter cover on, while standing on one leg and chanting.

And, since I do everything hardcore or not at all, I also got an Instagram.

I know, I know, trendy and stupid and I'm sure at some point I said I didn't get them, but now, as someone who loves taking random pictures of literally EVERYTHING, I want to say: I get it now.

I really get it.

Yesterday at lunch, I took a picture of the Taco Bell drive through...just because I could.

Someone save me from myself.

Also, if you want to peep me, my username is Radiowaltz, because I keep shit fresh and creative.

 

Lastly, I have a pen pal.

This is super exciting, because I love handwritten letters, and he sends super long ones that are funny and interesting.

He's also my uncle, so don't get too excited, everyone.

I'm still single.

 

Well, I think that about wraps it up, don't you?

That's been our life lately.

Weird, crazy, boring, but ours none the less.

 

Happy Friday!

Don't get pregnant.

 

 



The Friday Diary: According to Jackson, Birthdays Will Kill You

Hey, hey, it's Friday.

I must say, I'm happy to have made it to today.

Not because the week was extra hard. It wasn't.

Not because I feel so old now that I'm 26. I don't.

Just because the other night, two nights before my birthday to be exact, Jackson came to me and said

"You get older and older and older, and then you have another birthday, and then dead."

He said this in his adorable, precious, baby voice, until the end, when he cut his hands through the air with a sense of finality and said "Dead." Just so matter of factly.

He didn't really clarify which birthday I was going to die immediately after, so to be still alive and kicking the day after my birthday is good news to me.

 

In any case, Friday is here again, and I am pretty super stoked about it.

My hetero-lifemate is coming over tonight to hang out with me for my birthday, and then our friend anniversary is Monday, so tomorrow we'll likely go shopping for our outfits to go get super classy pictures taken at the Walmart portrait studio.

I mean, you gotta do something big to celebrate 12 years of best friendship, right?!

We're dressing up as old lady princess hookers.

It's going to be the best day of my life.

This week was good.

Filled with birthday lunches, ginormous cheeseburgers, perfect gifts from good friends, and a successful first week back at school for the kids. Jackson even made a friend, and Lainie told me last night that when she brought her Harry Potter wand to class for show and tell, she was "like the most popular girl all day".

Way to go, little rock and roller.

 

Aside from that, I expect a pretty happy and relatively quiet weekend.

I say relatively, because I have two small children, and who am I kidding?

If you're short on stuff to read, you can go back in time to this time last year here, or you can read the incredibly insightful post on why Purity Campaigns are not the message we should be teaching our girls about sex here, and you can listen to my new favorite song here. {Ok I know that's not reading, but it's good and you can look up the lyrics and read those if you want. Shut up.}

  

So I hope y'all have a splendid Friday, and an awesome weekend.

And watch out for those birthdays.

You never know which one could be your last.



The Friday Diary: Holy Shit It's August

Today is Friday, which technically concludes my week off from work, since it's the last work day I have off. Now we're just moving into the regular old saturday and sunday that I usually have off....listen to me talk about that like it's not good enough. 

First world problems.

Anyway, it's been a pretty good week. 

Deep cleaning the house, a quick trip to California, getting the kids' school shopping done, and meeting their teachers, and basically cleansing all the wild and unregulated "summer break" out of the house, and trying to usher the routine and regularity of the school year back in.

Both my kids thrive on routines, but Jackson can function without a very hardcore routine without much disruption to his general disposition, where as Lainie cannot.

Needless to say, on that note I am quite ready for the school year to begin.

Now that the pencils are bought and the backpacks filled, I will spend the better part of the next two days preparing 10 meals for the freezer, pre-packing 10 lunches for the next week, picking out first day outfits, and feeling a steady back and forth between melancholy and excitement for the fact that my youngest, my last, baby is starting school. 

There will also therefor be wine and chocolate over dosing as well.

This is also the beginning of a brand new month.

August's goal was to start my book. 

If you promise not to tell anyone, I'll tell you that I have technically started it. 

In the last 8 months of this year, I have successfully written two whole chapters....and then hid them from myself so I wouldn't feel disgusted and throw them out when I re-read them.

This month though, it's time to stop fucking around.

I am going to tell my goddamn story, even if every single page isn't a masterpiece.

Even if none of the pages are a masterpiece...

Even if I accidentally tell the story of my sexual awakening in graphic detail, and then run into my high school art teacher in the grocery store, and have to hear her feedback on the part about my sexual awakening, and I can't find any way out of that conversation....

Even if I can't figure out how to end the book, and the story goes on and on and on, eventually strangulating on itself and dying a slow and embarrassing death in front of all five people who I might be able to convince to read my book....

Even if...

Even if....

Fuck, where's the wine?

The Friday Diary: Another Week

Friday!

Glorious Friday is here again. 

This week was more or less mundane.

Just an average week of working and child rearing and making it from one day to the next.

I suppose that's what the vast majority of life is, right?

And I also suppose that I would take a mundane week over an extraordinarily horrible week.

But still, hopefully something exciting will happen soon.

Summer is winding down, and the school year is fast approaching.

Teachers are emailing supply lists and the Jackson is talking non-stop about starting Kindergarten. 

I will officially have two school age children, and I will never have a preschooler again.

It's amazing how quickly that comes up.

One of my old and admittedly favorite, doula clients is expecting her second baby.

I'll be attending her birth in the next couple weeks, and that may very well be the last birth I attend for a long time.

My 26th birthday is on the horizon.

I will be closer to 30 than 20 in less than a month.

Things change, life goes on.

The steady beat and rhythm.

It's all good right now.

Happy Friday. 

The Friday Diary: It's July and I'm Somehow Surprised by That.

Friday is officially here, and also so is July.

We're seven freaking months into the year, and you'll have to excuse me whilst I be incredibly cliche: it's going by fast.

The goal for July is to take my kids to the beach. This is kind of something that will either happen or it won't, so I'll let you know if it does, and at least you don't have to read a million posts about how I'm failing at yet another monthly goal.

This was a particularly good week, seeing as how I only worked for three days of it, and yesterday I got to eat all the grilled meats I wanted.

I'm a sucker for a good Bratwurst.

This weekend the kids and I will be laying low.

Resting and relaxing and staying out of the heat.

I see quite a few trips to the self serve frozen yogurt place on the corner in our future.

I see pajamas and messy hair and ceiling fans always going.

Trips to the pool, mid-day naps, and soft, sunscreen and chlorine soaked little kids.

I hope your weekend is as lovely as possible.

Happy Friday.

The Friday Diary: Let's All Just Be Happy Ok?

I decided for this week's diary to make a list of a few of the things that make me happy right now.
We all need a little more happy in our lives, right?
Yes.

1. I found these Converse today, thanks to Bridget. Can I please have 10 pairs of them? I'm a size 8, in case you were wondering.

2. I let Lainie make a board on Pinterest, because addicts need company, and her board is literally nothing but pictures of cats and directions for Fairy houses. I love her.
3. I discovered apple flavored beer made by ShockTop. I may actually decide to like both Summer and beer. Rednecks everywhere rejoice.
4. My awesome friend Camdon was able to get me an MP3 copy of Ray Lamontagne's album Acre of Land, which I have been searching high and low for, since literally over a year ago. He also made my computer finally work. Nerd friends are best friends.
5. I am off today, and it's payday. I not only get to wear jeans, but I also get to wear SHORTS and TANK TOPS and FLIP FLOPS, and as long as I have sunglasses on, no makeup is required.
Just some Starbucks and a smile.
6. Tonight I get to hang out with one of my favorite people, and tomorrow I get to hang out with ANOTHER one of my best friends. It's cool fun girl time!
7. Champagne. Cold, sweet, crisp, bubbly, champagne that tickles my mouth and makes me happy.

Happy Friday everyone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Or anything I would.

The Friday Diary: This week wasn't terrible, so let's all do jell-o shots

Hey everyone, look! It's Friday! Can you believe it?!

Me neither.

This was actually a pretty good week.

Not yelling at my kids reduced the stress in our house by about a bajillion percent {that's some hardcore scientific results right there}, and even though I did slip up a couple times {both in the morning when we were trying to leave the house, actually} I feel like I did really well with this goal. Better than I expected, being a half Scottish half Italian and 100% thug kind of parent.

Last night was the Grey's Anatomy season 9 finale, AND I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT. I don't have cable, so I have to watch everything the day after it airs, on Hulu. If you need me tonight I'll be the sad girl on the couch nervously eating chips.

Last weekend I saw The Great Gatsby after 5 solid days of reading nothing but terrible reviews from critics in just about every online "news" publication out there. I went to the movie with my guard up. I was hoping it would be wonderful, but afraid it would be terrible, so I ate my weight in shrimp tacos before hand to prepare myself.

Y'all, it was amazing.

The Great Gatsby is and always will be one of my favorite books, so imagine how my little heart soared when they used real dialogue from the original story! And the way that this director brought the characters to life was breathtaking. Also I love the way that he always uses modern music as the soundtrack for his "classic" movies. When Lana Del Rey sang Young and Beautiful through the montage of Gatsby showing Daisy the home he put together for her, I cried.

So perfect.

The end of the school year is fast approaching for Lainie, which means the beginning of Jackson's first school year is approaching as well.

It's literally all we talk about at home anymore: what it will be like for Jackson in Kindergarten.

He has so many questions, and I am both happy and sad about this time for him.

There was also a delicious lunch at Houston's, and I did 60 squats the other night so...there's that.

All in all, even though it was relatively quiet and uneventful, this week was good. And now I get to look forward to tomorrow: Jackson's birthday party, and the adoption of his very first kitty, which he has preemptively decided to name either Keiko or Fur Ball, regardless of the cat's appearance or gender.

I'm looking forward to a good weekend.

Happy Friday everyone.

Don't get pregnant.

The Friday Diary: I will never ask for something exciting to happen ever again. Or at least not until the next time I get bored.

So, remember last week when I was all "I'm in a rut, I need something new and exciting to happen"?

Well, be careful what you wish for, kids.

That morning, I got in a car accident on my way to work.

I'm fine, and the guys WHO REAR ENDED ME AT A RED LIGHT is also fine, and my car isn't too damaged, so it's not a major deal, but still, I'm still sort of pissed about it.

Also, that weekend my friend tried to do something fun and exciting for me, and it basically fell apart in a flaming pile of shit because I am the worst.

So you just remember that the next time you ask for something NEW and something EXCITING because it will most likely be a car accident and a drunken fight in Scottsdale at 11 p.m.

This week I dared myself to go an entire week without complaining.

I planned to be stoic and serene and more diplomatic than usual, but I was not.

I am a whiny bastard, and I complained just as much as usual.

Also, Lainie brought home a permission slip this week for Sex Ed, except now they try and trick you by calling it "Human Growth and Development", but its still absolutely sex education.

First of all, she's in third grade.

THIRD. GRADE.

I don't remember it starting that early when I was kid. The first sex ed class I had was in sixth grade, and it was awkward as all hell because instead of bringing in an instructor, our regular every day teacher taught it, and listening to words like "Vulva" and "Penis" and "Ejaculate" come out of her mouth was just too weird.

Second of all, I don't know how I feel about the state teaching my kid about sex.

I mean these are the same people who completely leave out the fact that the first slave owner was black, or that it was the Republican party that formed with the intention of abolishing slavery, or that Charlie Chaplin looked a lot like Hitler, but they weren't actually the same person. For years I thought Hitler was an actor turned politician, and his later actions seriously tainted my views on whether or not actors should be allowed to run for office, making the time that Arnold Schwarzenegger was running in California very stressful for me.

In the end I signed the permission slip, but this weekend Lainie and I will be going to Taco Bell for lunch and a proper sex education. An experience which I hope will completely educate her on the issue of sex and her body, and also ruing Taco Bell for her forever. Win, win.

Things are pretty regular in the world of Jackson.

He's still sweet and affectionate and super weird.

He's obsessed with cats, which is adorable, but the other night he told me he wanted hundreds of cats so he could cut off their hair and make a blanket out of it.

I still can't make eye contact with him after that.

This weekend I'll be partying down with my hetero-lifemate Meghan.

I have a full bottle of Crown and a freshly charged iPod, so there may even be some terribly awkward dance party pictures or god forbid videos for you all next week.

Happy Friday.

Let's make this weekend weird.

The Friday Diary: Ruts, Routines, and Sailboats

Hey everyone, guess what? 

It's Friday!

Good to see we all made it out alive.

This week I felt very stagnant, and stuck in some kind of rut.

I spent a lot of time alternating between looking up hair cuts I shouldn't get and vacations I can't afford.

I need a change.

I need something exciting or fun or good to happen to shake the dust off.

Let's face it, it's been a long and not so easy month.

Sick kids, personal drama, love life drama, and let's not forget the whole getting a restraining order on my dad thing.

That was neat.

I came across this blog, sent to me by a good friend who shares my fantasy of someday escaping the monotony of grown-up life, and living out an epic adventure.

It's all about a couple who took a year long sailing trip with their daughter around the Pacific.

It's amazing, and it awakens in me some lovely daydreams of chucking it all, buying a sailboat and getting the fuck out of here.

Away of all the unrealistic expectations, and all the people who take shit way too seriously.

Someday. Hopefully.

This weekend I'm looking forward to blowing off some steam. Possibly going out Saturday and remembering that life is also fun, and the big picture is not ultimately made up of petty people and mind numbing routines.

Also The Great Gatsby movie comes out in two weeks, so I will be very busy getting myself as unbelievably excited for that as possible.

I saw the trailer for it for the first time last weekend and I damn near cried and wet my pants at the same time.

Ok, who am I kidding. 

I did wet my pants. 

What do you daydream about?
What are you doing this weekend?

Happy Friday, my lovers.