Monday, May 16, 2011

An Update and a Migraine

Well, it's been a little while since the onslaught of "Posts that make you want to kill yourself", so I thought I would give a little update on the life and times of me and the people crazy enough to willingly be a part of my life.

So, first things first, we will start with Batman. After a very confusing, frustrating and tear jerking ordeal over trying to decide what role we would play in each other's lives, a resolution finally came. On May 3rd, I got a text asking if Batman could come over and talk to me for a bit. Queue spontaneous pants urination and stress-vomiting here. I won't go into exactly what was said when he came over because some sweet memories and tender moments should be kept to ourselves in order to protect their meaningfulness, but probably needless to say, we worked it out. We decided to give it a real go, and see if we could make something really good between the two of us, and honestly, I couldn't be happier so far. So that's one in the happy column!

Second, Tiny's elementary school is closing down due to budget cuts. They're not calling it a "shut down" because that sounds negative. Instead, they're calling it "merging with another school in the district". Ummm, ya, it's a fucking shut down. All the kids from Tiny's school are being put into this other school, and a bunch of teachers from Tiny's school are being forced into early retirement. That sounds like a shutdown more than a merge to me. So, instead of just shoving her into this other school where her class size will nearly double and she will almost certainly get lost in the crowd, I am trying to find an alternative. Another school in the district maybe, that isn't housing two schools worth of kids. It sucks to say the least. It also makes me sad to see schools still closing down, gas prices still rising to the point that I can't afford to drive anywhere anymore, and the economy just not getting any better. When does this shit end?

The Jedi's birthday is coming up Wednesday, and that brings with it even more things to chug a box of wine over. Firstly, because my youngest kid, my LAST kid, is going to be 3. I officially don't have any babies anymore, and never will again. This honestly makes me a little sad. I mean, I know neither of my kids were planned, I know they both have different dads, I know I am still a single mother showing no sign of becoming married anytime soon, and I know I am too young to have the kids I already have, but I love being a mother. I love kids. And as much as I know that deep, deep down, in my heart of hearts, I don't want anymore children, it just makes me a little sad to think that my days of having babies are pretty much over. I have kids now. And I will never have babies again. I will never be pregnant again. I will never give birth again. It's just....weird. For some reason his 3rd birthday feels like an official end to me. Like closing the door on having more babies, a final stamp on the decision to not have more kids. Don't ask me why his birthday has anything to do with this, it just does. It just brought all this on, for no apparent reason. Life is weird. The other big stresser about his birthday, is planning something to do. Honestly, the kid is 3. He doesn't have friends, he doesn't really know what a birthday is, he will never remember this, and birthday parties are such a fucking hassle and so ever loving expensive, I want more than anything to just order some of his favorite pizza, get him a kick ass cake and some ice cream, and have a few family members over to open gifts and watch movies. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want other kids he doesn't even know here, I am not buying balloons, or getting invitations, it's just too much with everything that is going on right now. I know that this does not make some people happy, who think kids should have a party every single year, but you know what? SUCK IT. Do what you want for your kids birthdays. I'm not going out of my way to please other people this year. I just so am not in the mood.

Well, this pretty much brings us up to present day, as I sit here with a migraine slowly dwindling away thanks to Excedrin Migraine, dark chocolate and lots of water, typing this obnoxiously long blog out one probably. I mean, does anyone even read this? It just makes me feel better to write it all out. It's like a journal that I let other people read, and has pretty pictures on it.

There is still one more update to give to all of you, and that is in regards to Zombie Justin, but today just isn't the day. My headache is sucking the creative life blood out of me, and I should probably lay back down. But stay tuned! Zombie Justin's post should be full of all kinds of crazy, suspenseful, funny awesomeness. And Zombies. Everybody loves a good zombie story.

Goodnight blog world.

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