When I sit cross legged on my bed for so long, browsing useless shit on Pinterest or other blogs I stumble upon at 11 o'clock at night, that one of my legs goes to sleep and I am vaguely aware that if someone broke in right now I would be unable to run or defend myself because of my suddenly bum leg. All because some bitch had a board full of bacon recipes on Pinterest that I just couldn't click out of.
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"Wow, just worked out for 2 whole hours and it felt amazing! Think I'll clean my entire house and bake a cake from scratch before rubbing my husband's feet and reading my perfect children a story. Loving life!!!!"
-Said the most bullshit Facebook status in the history of ever.
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You know you're in full blow "Season of the Mad Cow" aka PMS Land, when the only shit you've pinned in the last 4 days has been dessert recipes and instructions for making a moomoo.
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Those little tins of toffee bits and coffee beans covered in chocolate from Trader Joes...wtf, how do you eat those? I mean is that a single serving can, or are they to be eaten like breath mints, you just pop one in your mouth every once in a while when you're feeling like a tad something sweet?
Someone explain this to me, because those little bits of wonderful are fucking tiny, and I know for a solid FACT I could eat that whole can in one sitting, and also who the hell ever feels like "a tad something sweet" and just stops there?!
No one. Ever.
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I really hate when I'm in the middle of a good blogging flow and I suddenly have to pee really bad.
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Is it weird that the theme song to Rugrats is like taking an Ambien and a shot of Vodka to me?
As soon as that music starts, I start fading fast until I'm out like a light on the couch while my kids trash the house and watch cartoons for God only knows how long.
I'm not entirely sure why this show turns me into Pavlov's Narcoleptic, but I think it has something to do with all the mornings I let Jack watch it to keep him entertained while I slept in "just a little bit longer"
Being a shitty parent always bites you in the ass later.
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Hmmm, maybe the cure to my insomnia could be the theme to Rugrats?? I'll have to try that sometime! Seriously I may haha.
ReplyDeleteI think it only knocks me out because I've turned it on so many mornings when Jack got up at 4 a.m. so hed be occupied and I could get some more sleep. It's terrible, I know, but now all I associate that show with is SLEEP! lol
Deletethat was awesome...love your blog
ReplyDeletesmile
brian
Thank you! Always nice to meet new readers :)
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