I remember the way the alcohol on your lips burned mine
And how your leather coat smelled like the cold.
I remember feeling nervous and excited around you
Like a kid holding a firework for the first time
Something explosive and beautiful that lights up the night sky
And makes your stomach feel like you're sinking to the bottom of the sea.
I remember laying in bed and looking at my hands
Useless without you there to explore
You came and you went so easily then
It was always me waiting for you to come back.
I planned our future
Daydreamed impossible things
Roadtrips with the windows down
Dinner together in a house full of kids
Listening to you talk about your day while I washed dishes.
But you never stuck around for long and when you'd leave
There was a frantic bird in my chest that wanted to follow you
That wanted to be still in the passenger seat of your dark car
I wish it wasn't so easy to live without me.