Apprently

So, this exists:

 

It's a fucking bear sleeping bag.

And by bear sleeping bag, I do not mean it's a stupid sleeping bag with bears on it, I mean it IS A SLEEPING BAG THAT IS A BEAR.

I could literally sleep INSIDE of a bear.

NO I WILL NOT STOP TYPING IN ALL CAPS.

This is HUGE news!

Therefor it must be shout-typed.

I just can't believe I am just now finding out about this/don't already have 6 of them,

Why 6 you ask?

Well, because you should always have back ups of your favorite things - clearly, and I have two kids, and Bill has two kids, and there is 1 of me and 1 of Bill, which I think all adds up to 6, and how awesome would it be to all go camping together and sleep outside of our tents on the ground IN OUR BEAR BAGS?!

Then, if bears came to attack them {and I say them, not us because a bear would never attack me. We're friends}, then he'd be all like "Oh, sorry I didn't realize you were all just a family of bears, sleeping on the ground!" and we'd be all "Oh, no it's no problem, carry on. I think there's a group of college kids just down the path there with none of their food hung up in trees. Go teach them a lesson like WE BEARS ARE KNOWN TO DO."

And recognizing that as a fantastic alternative to eating Bill and his kids and my kids {but not me} the bear that almost mistakenly attacked them, will travel on down the road.

IT'S A FLAWLESS PLAN.

And, I could wear it to work, and when people piss me off I can just climb inside it and zip it all the way up. Then when my boss comes to be retarded in my personal space, or say shit I don't care about, I can be like "Excuse me, I'M WEARING A BEAR. No I cannot fax that for you, I don't have opposable thumbs inside this bear, so I guess you'll have to fax that shit yourself. Now please go be an asshole somewhere else."

AND HE WOULD SIMPLY HAVE NO CHOICE.

There would be no disputing that logic, thusfor forcing him to fax his own shit and leave me and my bear bag the hell alone.

It's perfect.

Someone please buy me this right now.

I will trade all types of home cooked dinners or house cleaning, or 1 amazing week as my best friend in exchange for this sleeping bag.

I'm a really good best friend, just so you know.