Sunday, August 26, 2012

You Can't Read The Last Chapter First


There is something incredibly satisfying about realizing for yourself that everything is going to be ok. I mean, when something sad happens, it's like all anybody wants to tell you, that everything will be ok. After a while the words start to lose meaning and it almost makes you angry that people could be so blindly optimistic in the face of such terrible defeat. You want to scream in their face "HOW THE FUCK WILL THIS EVER BE OK?"
But at some point, it's like you realize it for yourself. You just know.
All of a sudden you have faith again.
You can say that the future is not yet written, and you have no idea what it holds, but for the first time that doesn't terrify you. It excites you.
You feel all of a sudden like you've been given the opportunity for new adventure.
Like there might actually be this great and mystical something down the road, and you have no idea what it is, but maybe getting to the last chapter won't hurt as bad as you thought.
Maybe it will be fun.
Maybe the hero hasn't died yet, and maybe all is not lost, there just has to be a few plot twists to keep it interesting.
And maybe the ending will be a surprise to everyone, but aren't those always the best stories? 
The ones where you never saw it coming?
Where the villain is the one you least expected and the hero is the underdog, and your prince charming doesn't save you, but you save each other?
Maybe it doesn't all have to be so predictable.

Maybe, even if I don't know what's going to happen or who I will end up with or how it's all going to play out, maybe I'll still be ok.

I guess because at least I know, whatever happens on the next page of my story, it won't be boring.
It won't be ordinary.
And really, isn't that what I've always hoped for out of all this?
A life less ordinary?
Life's most extravagant adventure?
So that's what I'm looking forward to now.

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