The way Jackson's face looks when he first wakes up in the morning, and he is in such a happy, sweet mood.
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How good it feels to come home at the end of a full work day, and put my pajamas on.
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Being held. Especially when you need to be held really badly.
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The very first sip of the very first cup of coffee on Monday morning.
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Chocolate, in all it's forms.
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Hugs from Lainie.
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The sound of my kids sleeping. The hush of their breathing that sounds just like waves kissing the shore in the middle of the night.
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Turning the heat on for the first time in the Fall.
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Slow dancing with a man that loved me. The heavy warmth of his hand on the small of my back, the smell of his shirt, swaying in the music, even if it was only the music in our hearts.
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Falling in love. Because even if it ends in heartbreak, the falling feels so good. The addiction, the passion, the reckless abandon and utter adoration. The sweet secure feeling that hangs warm and heavy from the bottom of your heart, so that even when you're alone, you feel safe. You're being taken care of, thought about, loved.
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Goodbye, and how much it hurts. Maybe if I could remember how goodbye feels, I wouldn't take now for granted so easily.
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Sleep.
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Kisses.
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Hot showers.
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Now. I'm alive, I'm here, I have two little kids who are still little, a job that's still interesting, and a heart that's still beating.
One day, I won't. All this breathing and eating and laughing and hurting and loving will be over, and I will want a little bit of now to remember, savor, and hold onto when the dark comes down.
So you finally turned your heat on eh? I have been holding off but I don't think I can hold off much longer!
ReplyDeleteI did turn my heat on, but mostly because I have a disgusting cold, and being sick makes me shiver like nobody's biz. And we had the closest we'll ever come to a "cold snap" here in Phoenix, where it suddenly went from like 90 degrees, to 50 and even as low as 40 at night. Crazy.
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