Monday, June 10, 2013

The Friday Diary: It's Monday, but we're going to pretend it's Friday, OK Guys?

Meanwhile, at the public pool....
Happy Monday, dear ones.
So far I am failing miserably at this month's goal, aren't I?
Who expected any different, though.
That's right. No one.
Anyhow, it's Monday, also known as EVERYONE'SFAVORITEDAYEVER.
I'm not sure if I hate Mondays nearly as much as the hundred million, million comments you hear all. day. long. about how much everyone else hates Mondays.
I mean, say something original, right?
Like "I'm in a bad mood today, not because it's Monday but because my left knee is mad at me again. We aren't speaking."

Over the weekend the kids and I spent every spare second at the pool in our neighborhood. After untold hours schlepping the kids and all their pool crap and their post-swimming-I'm-Tired-And in a bad mood-Attitudes back and forth from the pool, fighting disgusting crowds of fully clothes adults who swim in their JEANS {EW! STOP IT! BATHING SUITS ARE NOT EXPENSIVE} and probably-urinating-in this water as we speak-strange children, I am sorely wishing I would've looked harder for a house that had a pool like, right in the backyard.
I have friends who have this, and now that the kids are fully gung-ho about swimming, this kind of thing seems so decadent and lovely, I spend actual time during the day thinking about how awesome it would be to be like "HEY KIDS, WE'RE GOING SWIMMING!" and just open the back door instead of starting the car and wondering how much urine chlorine really gets rid of.
Are above ground pools still really white trashy? Or can you get away with it if you have small children and trouble controlling what you yell at strangers you who don't control their demon spawn in large bodies of water?

Also, I may or may not have actually thrown my 9 year old daughter at a teenage couple who were basically having the sexy time in the KIDS section of the pool.
They were not pleased, but on the bright side, I have flawless aim when throwing children at people.

Happy Monday.


  1. And here I thought everyone in Phoenix had a pool... haha like wouldn't it be a living requirement??

    1. Haha, nope! MOST people have pools, but not everyone. I actually know a lot of people who had pools before, and specifically pick houses that don't have them now, because of the maintenance and the expense of them. I'm probably not nearly responsible enough to have a pool...but I want one anyway.