Wednesday, December 18, 2013


adam scott
I've never been accused of being a patient person.
I want to know everything. What's going to happen, how it's going to go, whether it will really be ok, or not.
And I want to know right. now.
But at the same time I love surprises....
I've also never been accused of being easy to understand.
I digress.
It's almost the end of the year.
This year has brought so many things.
Some good, some horrible, some scary, and some amazing. I find myself feeling oddly nervous about 2014. I don't know why. I know that a new year really bears no actual significance over the one prior. Time is an ever moving loop, after all. It's just another day, right after the one before it, and before the one after it. Your life has no comprehension of the fact that a new year has started, a therefor most likely won't change on it's own because of that.
Still, I worry.
I feel stress about January and February, because I have little booked for those months right now. 
I feel anxious about relationships, both friendships and relationships of the intimate variety.
I feel like things are, or will soon be, at turning points in both areas, and I don't know which way anything will go, or what will happen, or how it will all turn out, and I'm nervous.
 I find my brow furrowed without realizing it more and more these days.
When I was younger my mom would see me doing that, and always told me if I kept thinking so hard I was going to break something.
But there is a new year coming, and nothing now is the way it was at this time 12 months ago, so as inaccurate as it probably is, I have this feeling in the way bottom of myself, that says the year ahead will almost be like living a completely different life.
Like I said, I could be wrong.

I just feel like everything is about to change.

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