I would like to take this time out to apologize to all the people I have been a psycho bee with an itch to this week, as I've struggled and tried to quit smoking, after seven blissful years of smoking.
I'm sorry that I cried at work {9 times in one day}
I'm sorry I couldn't stop saying inappropriate things at work, especially about all the people I normally just dislike, who this week, I've felt downright homicidal about. {not you Chuck}
I'm sorry that anyone had to see me crying, and stuffing dark chocolate in my mouth like premenstrual Queen Latifa.
I'm sorry that I may or may not have become irrationally emotional in Walmart, and then made Bill fight on the phone with me over literally nothing, because I didn't know what to do with all my spare time that I used to spend smoking.
I'm sorry that watching me eat sunflower seeds is comparable to watching someone with dentures eat corn on the cob.
I'm also sorry I can't stop eating sunflower seeds at work.
I'm also sorry my desk at work has so much food on it all the time now, that it slightly resembles John Goodman's Thanksgiving buffet table.
I'm sorry I decided to quit smoking in the same week that I have PMS.
I'm sorry to the people I stabbed, who suggested I might be PMSing.
So far, I've done well on the not smoking, and I'm proud of myself. Hopefully next week will be less Lifetime-movie, and more happy Sarah who doesn't smell like an ashtray or eat 5 bags of pretzel M&M's while crying at 9 in the morning.
{No promises on the M&M thing}
