So this week has pretty much been one kick in the emotional/financial/mental pants after another. Between being sick, grumpy, hormonal and broke, I have had to cancel classes with clients, bring my kids with me to a consultation, deal with a maybe stalker, an insatiable son who is full on into his "Testing Twos" and an almost seven year old who is determined to turn every hair in my head nice and gray.
As I sit here writing this, I am officially DONE not having a car, DONE with being a girl and having PMS, DONE with being over booked, over worked and underhelped, and DONE with this fucking week/month.
Last night was exceptionally bad, and when a good friend came over trying to help, I acted like a psycho, bitch crazy person and probably hurt his feelings, pissed him off and freaked him out. Right about now I just want to retreat into a little teeny tiny hole and hide from everyone because I cannot control my grumpy anger and I am ashamed of how I have taken it out on people.
So. FUCK YOU to the sucky people in my life who have completely let me down and been totally selfish lately. Im So Sorry to the people who have tried to help, and have gotten their heads bitten off or have had to deal with a psycho Italian in return.
I need a good cuddle, a good kiss, a good nights sleep and maybe a night out in the near future. As of right now, I just really need a fucking break. A little bit of understanding and breathing room. I am waiting for the person who knows me best in the world to come over and cheer me up. Some pasta salad, some video games and our favorite TV shows should help alot. And being able to let my guard down and show my weak, scared and insecure side. You gotta let it all out sometime. No one can be strong and perfect all the time.
Goodnight kids. Until next time, we're all just dancing in the dark