Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Stuck

Tumblr_m6cje4cbqg1qct4zgo1_500_large

I am stuck somewhere between wanting to blog every thought and feeling I have, and not wanting to sound like an obsessive, depressive basket case.
I am also stuck somewhere between writing some of the best pieces I've written in months {depression makes me talented} and again, not wanting to sound like an obsessive, depressive basket case.
Sure I could say that I'm "writing it all for me", but when you know everyone in your life as well as everyone in the life of the person you're writing about reads what you're posting, it's hard not to feel like you're putting all your shit on blast, even if it isn't intended that way. 
It's hard not to feel like you're being that pathetic girl who is sending out passive aggressive please for a second chance, or trying to subtly make the guy who hurt her feel like an asshole by parading around how hurt she is.
Ugh. 
There's no good answer. 
And I fucking hate journaling.
And seriously, some of the shit I've been writing is really good.
Maybe I'll post it all later when everything isn't raw and fresh, and then it will be taken as well written creative writing pieces, and not sad eulogies for a dead relationship.
Or maybe I'll just care less about what anybody thinks after a little time.

Who knows. 

In the meantime, I may be publishing on another site here soon, if all goes well. 
I don't want to go into details yet because over sharing is bad luck in my life, but I promise if it all pans out I'll tell you everything. And yes, I'll still keep the blog, and I'll link up whenever I contribute to the other site.
I'm not leaving this blessed domain of free speech to live exclusively in the land of freelance.
I will always treasure a place where I can post what I want without someone editing my spelling and grammar or asking me not to say fuck so much.

Fuckers.


1 comment:

  1. This is just my take on it: Inspiration can come from a lot of different places... Whether it be the mournful experiences or joyful ones, everyone finds their best inspirations in great places. Think about Taylor Swift... who seems to have become a successful musical artist because of heartbreak after heartbreak. Would it be safe to say she'll struggle to make music if she finds the right man?

    Sharing with people on a blog is, in my opinion, not just for the author and not just for the reader... but for a combination of the two. It, in its simplest form, just exists. As readers we need to be able to read objectively, and appreciate the talent in language, and only then can we allow ourselves to look into the subtleties further.

    Just my take on things.

    ReplyDelete