Friday, October 5, 2012

Can We Still Sleep Together?


Can we still sleep together?
I don't necessarily mean have sex, I mean sleep.
It doesn't have to be a big deal. It can just be because I'm super warm, and you know exactly how to hold me. 
On the occasional Saturday night when neither of us have plans, when both of us are tired of pretending we don't miss each other, when there doesn't seem to be any reason not to, can we sleep together still?
Can we get Chinese food and meet at your house in our pajamas, and watch an old movie on Netflix in bed?
Can we fall asleep together at the exact same time, our bodies moving back into the familiar positions that we've trained each other to assume: me on my right side, you as the big spoon, your arm scooping me up and pulling me in, our fingers tangled together like the roots of Willow trees?
Slipping away, heavy and warm, the rhythm of our hearts tapping out the most familiar lullaby there is.
Like sailors who miss the smell of the sea even if they know they can no longer return to it, I will bury my face in your chest and feel sated.
It's probably my favorite thing to do with you; lying still in your arms and waiting for my mind to close it's doors.
When I'm in your bed I never have to wait very long for it to come.
In the morning we can go back to being broken up.
We can go back to being just friends who don't do things like sleep in the same bed, or ever admit they feel lost sometimes without the steady gaze of the other person.
We'll retreat away and privately put ourselves back together.
I won't tell anybody if you won't.
But just every once in a while, can we still sleep together?

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