Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I Don't Want to Fall In Love

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I would rather not fall in love again.
Not with a boy, and all their fickle opinions and volitile desires.
Maybe with the color blue, soft blankets, green eyes, the moon.
Maybe with a rainstorm {if it ever did rain anymore}, a good book, an old picture of you.
I could fall in love with a song, the perfect harmonies and melodies and drop drum beat seaping into my chest like the loveliest of colds. A favorite affliction.
I could fall in love with the side of a face, the shape of your hands, the scent of my sleeping children.
A hot shower, a quiet evening, a long walk in the cold.
Heavy jackets, winter boots, tight jeans and good booze.
Perhaps I will fall in love with safe things.
Things that don't leave, don't lie, don't swell and fall like the sea, always changing their mind.
For now I would be OK with just knowing my heart is still capable of love, but my soul is at peace on its own.
For now I just want to know that I still can feel the way I once did.
Even if I don't.
Even if I choose not to, anymore.

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