What do you look for in a partner?
Do you have a set list of criteria that you check off in your head when you go on dates or meet new people?
Do you know for certain what you want, or at the very least what you don't want?
For instance would dating someone who chewed with their mouth open or still consulted their mother before making big life choices be impossible for you?
Does it matter if your names sound good together or if you're the same religion?
I think it's always easier to decide what you don't want, boiling down the vast list of options by removing what you can't stand, and what's left is a close account of what you could tolerate for the sake of love, happiness and someone to spend national holidays with.
I know I don't want someone who's extremely athletic. At least not if they're going to expect me to be extremely athletic. I'm cool with sharing in each other's interests, but if I have to climb a fucking mountain with you or something, this isn't going to work.
I know I don't want someone who is really loud or hyper. I hate feeling like I'm out with a four year old when it's supposed to be adult time.
I know I don't want someone who is overly sensitive, but on the same hand, I can't be with someone who can't handle emotion. Someone who shames me every time I cry or get upset, and makes me feel bad for having feelings because he doesn't agree with how I feel.
I know I want someone sweet, and thoughtful, who doesn't have to ask me what I want for Christmas, and pays attention to the quirky little things that make me happy.
I know I don't want someone who listens to techno. Or trance. Or Bjork.
These are things that matter to me, and its unfortunately only a fraction of the things I think about every single time I meet a guy.
It's entirely possible I'm too picky. It's incredibly likely that I'm high maintenance and will leave in the middle of a date because you've now had to ask me what 3 different words I used mean, and they weren't even big words or slang terms, and I'm starting to get the impression that you couldn't do my taxes for me or hold a conversation that didn't include fart jokes.
But still I'm idealistic and romantic, and I can't help but believe that someone out there is a door holding, tax doing, sweet, kind, intelligent, romantic soul with a laid back demeanor and strong hands, and someday we'll find each other, and then I'll always have someone to watch Parenthood with.
What about you?
What do you want?