Thursday, April 18, 2013

For The Hard Days

Yesterday we had a bad morning.
Lainie and I both woke up miserable with allergies. Sore, swollen, scratchy throats. Big, red, puffy eyes. Noses that felt like they had half of the atmosphere crammed in them. Lainie wanted to stay home, but I've missed a lot of work lately because the kids are constantly coming down with something.
Too much work.
Since she didn't have a fever, I couldn't stay home.
Jackson was in full on meltdown mode over not being able to watch T.V. until he finished getting dressed and eating breakfast.
Lainie couldn't find what she wanted to wear and refused to settle for anything else. She proceeded to meltdown as well.
It was early and I was tired and my throat was killing me. I felt surrounded and out numbered and completely overwhelmed. I couldn't keep explaining myself over and over to a four year old. I couldn't reason with a nine year old. We needed to leave in 15 minutes and I hadn't even brushed my own teeth yet.
I sank to the floor in front of the washer and dryer and put my head between my knees.
Completely defeated.
It was not my finest moment.
If you had told me before I became a parent, that there would be more mornings and evenings and entire days like this, I would've been like "Yeah right you're just trying to discourage me so I'm going to have FIVE or TEN kids just to SHOW YOU, Mr. Negativity!" because I'm a rebellious asshole with serious authority issues.
I sat there in my pajamas while the kids cried and whined and called me the meanest Mommy ever, and thought "I cannot do this". {Actually I thought "Would anyone notice if I put Vodka in my coffee?"}
But then I remembered that I'm not the only mom in the world.
There's no way in hell I was the only mother on the verge of tears in front of her washing machine at 6:45 on a Wednesday morning.
I was not the only mother who had ever pleaded - literally begged - her nine year old to just fucking get dressed, please, I don't care what you wear just put on SOMETHING.
I'm not alone.
I have my village and I have my people, and I know I'm not the only one.
Yesterday was hard, but we soldier on.

In case you who is reading this is a parent, and no one has told you this yet today: you're doing a great job.

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