An Open Letter to Fall

Alright.

I've said it before.

And yes, I am going to say it again.

Fall, please come. Now.

I am so over summer. 

SO OVER IT.

I think just even one more day might be enough to break me. 

Too bad this is Arizona and there's like another 90 days of unbearable heat left.

Why my parents moved me here, I have no idea.

The Friday Diary: It's Still Summer

Hi Everyone.

Apologies in advance for the fact that I have less than nothing interesting to show you today.

Know why?

Because it's still. fucking. summer.

My brain is fried. I am hot. UNBEARABLY TYPE IN ALL CAPS HOT.

I have uncomfortable sweat in awkward places and my kids never go outside anymore.

I am done with summer. 

We all know that it's not my favorite season to begin with. I'm a Fall/Winter With Affectionate Feelings Toward Spring girl, 100%. 

I honestly don't get people who say they hate Fall or Winter just because it's cold. It being cold is like maybe only 15% of why it's awesome.

There are at least a million and twenty more reasons why Fall and Winter kick ass.

Anyway, summer doesn't. 

I think I've tried to love summer. I've given it a fair chance. Every year I try to find ways to psyche myself up about it, and for a while I pull it off. I throw on shorts {which are not a good look for me} and go running around all like "Yeah, summer is AWESOME, let's go get sunburned and get boob sweat marks on our t-shirts!" whilst I plan barbecues and swim parties and buy cute shit for the kids, but it always wears off. 

Aside from my seasonal anxiety issues {which I am aware are weird, but none the less real}, burning my thighs on a FABRIC car seat and feeling like I might black out before my air conditioning kicks on in my car on the way home from work aren't things I consider hobbies.

So, seriously, enough with summer.

I'm over it.

Summer, if you're reading this, please get the fuck out of my life now. No hard feelings or anything, I'm just done with your shit. The bad luck you bring me, the anxiety you give me, the dehydration and red sweat face that I get because I'm a ginger, none of it appeals to me.

Also, it's not me, it's you.

Sincerely, 

Girl in Arizona who fucking hates your face.

...

And now, a brief and uninteresting summary of my week.
Enjoy?

...

Overheard:
Jackson: I have a friend at school named Zoya and I love her.
Me: You love her? Really? How do you know that?
Jackson: Because when the teacher gived us balloons and hers was bigger dan mine, it was ok and I wasn't sad. I love her.

Seems pretty straightforward to me.

...

Pinteresting:

I tried this exercise the other night. And tried is the operative word. I got to about halfway through the leg lifts and almost crapped out my kidney.
Took that as a sign I should probably stop and pin recipes for cinnamon rolls for the rest of the night.

...

Addicted:

It's a little sweet, so I like to add some extra coffee to it, but still, it's freaking amazing.
And it's cheaper than Starbucks.
WORD.

...

Accomplished:
2 weeks worth of groceries for $98.00
Half what we normally pay.
It took some strategery {Look Bill, I used your made up word!} on my part, and I had to figure out a couple meals where we'd "go meatless", but I did it!
And none of the meals on my life were things like Tuna Helper or Lean Cuisine.
If it had been I could've gotten way more than 2 weeks worth of groceries.

...

Shameless:
It's officially less than 2 weeks until my birthday!
Can you tell I'm excited?
If you're wondering what amazing gifts you can get me, see here.
Or find me a baby black bear. Baby black bears are always accepted.
Also, please tell me what I should do for my birthday.

...

Phone Picture Extravaganza!

Atonement

"We cannot tear out one single page of our lives, but we can throw the whole book in the fire."

 -George Sand

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
To the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight.

But somewhere along the way,
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear.

Though I've tried,
I've fallen, I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So you can come around here and tell me I told you so.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw young
I believed that I could change myself
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that WOULD NOT heal
The bitter taste of losing everything I'd held so dear.

Heaven, bend to take my hand
I have nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
They turn their heads embarrassed, pretend that they don't see.

But it's one misstep, one slip before you know it.

And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed....

Hello September

Hello September, oh how I've missed you...

Today is September 7th, which means I have just completed my official first week of September. 

I love September. 

I know that it's not technically the first day of Fall until the 23rd, but I am always happy as hell when this month starts. 

Why?

Because Summer tries to kill me.

Laugh all you will, but it does. 

I live in Arizona, but I still want to say that I like Summer. 

Yeah, I know, crazy, right?

But I do. 

I love the beginning of Summer, when you can feel Spring giving way to another season, and everything is bright and fresh, and you know you have 3 months of bathing suits, barbecues, sun screen and vacations ahead of you.

But in Arizona, you also have searing heat.

And if you're me, this is also when everything in your life always falls spectacularly to shit.

Call it fate, call it the turning of the tides, call it my own self fulfilling prophecy, whatever , all I know is that Summertime is always when anything that could go wrong in my life will go wrong. 

If I have a boyfriend, we'll break up, if I have a job I'll lose it, if I have a car it will break down and cost too much to fix, someone will die, etc., etc.. etc. 

And I don't mean just one of these things will happen, I mean ALL of these things that could possibly happen, will happen. 

It's not awesome.

But Fall.

Oh, Fall, my sweet lover.

Fall never hurts me. Fall is always the beginning of things turning around and getting better.

Everything starts to calm down, level out, and put themselves back together.

And not to mention ever since I was a little kid, I have always loved all the Fall decorations in stores and on houses, and the amazing Fall foods like Pumpkin....anything, and cinnamon on everything.

Fall seems homey to me.

Cozy and sweet, like a real family.

Thick sweaters and changing leaves, pumpkins and scarecrows and Thanksgiving. 

I just love all of it.

And of course, Fall gives way to Winter, which is even better.

So this year, as Fall quickly approaches, I will share with you all the things I am looking forward to about this season this year:

Pumpkin coffee from Starbucks

Making the kids pumpkin french toast for breakfast

Halloween

Sedona

Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my little modge podge family

My love

Lainie's birthday

Sweaters

Walks in the crisp Fall night air

Holding hands

Cuddling in the cold

The start of my New Year.