Now, as anxiety inducing as this is, I am prepared to not lose my schmidt! I have armed myself with my "Handy Dandy List of Cool Stuff to do this Summer so Mom Doesn't Kill Everyone!" I may end up shortening the name. But for now! Here she is:
- Living room picnics with all kinds of yumminess and fun finger foods that keep children entertained and quiet
- Netflix movie marathons
- Going to the park and making the kids race each other. It's competitive, it's exercise, and it wears them the f*ck out!
- Handing out copious amounts of ice cream until they shut up or slip into a diabetic coma
- Building a fort out of sheets
- Finding a way to incorporate bacon into the sheet fort
- Bacon fights?
- Grocery store scavenger hunts
- Chasing the ice cream truck
- Chasing the ice cream truck while crying
- Drinking Grown Up juice boxes from Target while hiding in my closet
- Nap time at 9 a.m.
- Teaching Tiny to make Easy Mac and Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for her and her brother when Mommy is too hung over to get out of bed and make breakfast
- 6 p.m. bedtime!
- 10 days in Illinois and Michigan with The Roomie and his huge family, AKA, other people who want to spend time entertaining my kids while I get drunk in the backyard
- And if all else fails, and we are all 3 still ready to lose our schmidt and hurt each other, there is always the old standby of: Lots and lots of overnights at Grandma's house!
Happy Mother F*cking Summer Everybody!