Zuppa Toscana

This is by far my favorite soup and every time I go to Olive Garden I have to get it. I'm not guaranteeing that this recipes tastes exactly like Olive Garden's, but it's still freaking delicious and whenever I make it I spend the entire time I'm eating the first bowl scalding the shit out of my mouth because I'm too impatient to let it cool first.
It tastes that good.


What You Need

1 lb Italian Sausage 

1 onion

Garlic Powder

Onion powder

Oregano

Basil

Salt and pepper

10 cups water

5 chicken bouillon cubes

2 cups heavy whipping cream

6 diced potatoes

1 package frozen spinach

Brown the sausage

Heat the water to a low boil and dissolve the chicken broth cubes in it

Add the potatoes and bring just to a boil

Reduce heat and simmer til potatoes are soft
Add sausage and continue simmering
Heat 1 tbs Olive Oil and 1 tbs butter and 1 tbs minced garlic in a skillet and saute frozen spinach until it's hot
Add to soup and simmer another 10 minutes

Add  heavy cream and reduced to the lowest setting or cover and turn the heat off leaving the pan on the burner
I usually let it sit like that while I heat garlic bread and mix a salad, then serve it.
The longer it has to heat together the more the flavors come out, but be careful not to let it boil once the cream is added.

The seasonings are added through out the cooking process, and obviously they're added to your personal taste. I never put measurements for spices in my recipes unless I'm baking.Taste the soup as it cooks and season to your liking. 

Chicken Enchiladas

Today when I picked the kids up from school, Lainie was waiting with her report card for me to sign. It was awesome! She got Outstandings in EVERYTHING! And she was graded beyond her grade level and district average for the personal narrative she had to write at the end of the semester. I was so proud of her!!! As a reward she got to decide what we had for dinner and help make it. She's been really into learning how to cook lately. Lainie picked chicken enchiladas. So thats what she got! The way I make them, they are so easy, fast and delicious. The kids eat 'em up and we rarely have left overs.

Recipe:

12 corn tortillas
Vegitable oil
Minced garlic
Rotisserie Chicken
Onion Chive cream cheese (1 little tub of it)
Shredded mexican cheese
1 can diced green chilis

Heat the vegitable oil in a skillet, just enough to cover the bottom
Fry each tortilla just long enough for them to become soft. DONT FRY THEM GOLDEN BROWN! If they are rigid, they wont roll up into enchiladas. Set them on newspaper to dry and cool
Shred up the chicken, white meat only. There should be plenty for the 12 enchiladas.
Combine the cream cheese, 1 tbsn of minced garlic and chilis in a bowl, and microwave for 1 minute until cheese is soft. Mix well.
Drop one spoonful of the cream cheese mixture onto each tortilla and spread around so the tortilla is coated.
Drop one small handful of shredded chicken onto the tortilla
Add some shredded mexican cheese, and roll up
Place seam side down in a casserole dish and repeat until all the tortillas are rolled.
Smother in one can of Macayos Red Enchilada sauce, or whatever sauce you like. Maybe you make your own sauce, I dont know, but I am cool with the canned stuff when Im in a hurry.
Pull each enchilada slightly away from its neighbor, so the sauce can go between them, and they are nice and drenched in saucy goodness.
Sprinkle the whole dish with some more mexican cheese
Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes.
Enjoy with sour cream or greek yogurt.

Amazing!!!

Organizing

Today I went through cleaning my house. Throwing out, donating, sorting, scrubbing, dusting and putting away the mess that has become our home. The accumulation of our life. Kids toys, clothes, books, papers, artwork, work badges, files, CD's, movies and God knows what else. And lots and lots of dust. I really need to dust more. Going through all of this crap, deciding what to keep and what to throw out and where to put it all, I started thinking about my childhood, growing up with my father. My Dad is the pack rat to end all packrats. He doesnt necessarily hoard, although I dont know the technical definition of a hoarder. He just saves. EVERYTHING. He still has report cards from when my sisters and brother and I were in Elementary School. He has papers we scribbled on, short stories we wrote, pictures of people he doesnt remember, broken things, dirty crappy things that he will never use, stuff he hasnt used in 20 years, clothes he doesnt/cant wear. He has TWO APARTMENTS full of shit. And most of it is exactly that: shit. He does have an extensive movie collection, and alot of good artwork, but still. He has so much stuff.
I have always been terrified of being like him. Whenever I move out of a place, I throw away so much stuff. I leave alot behind. Every time I clean, I throw something out. I wonder what sentimentallity is really worth. Do we hold onto these things because we love them? Even though we never look at them? Or do we hold on out of fear? Fear that we will never have good moments again. Never have a happy memory. Something that sweet and tender and wonderful will never come our way again, so we have to hold onto to every little scrap of evidence of every good day in our lives.

Do I throw things away because I dont want to remember? Or because the clutter drives me crazy?
What memories do I want to hold onto, and what memories am I running away from?
Is sentimentality just the working off on ourselves of feelings we haven't really got anymore?

Pictures, notes, letters, T-Shirts from old boyfriends, pictures my children drew. These are things I can never bring myself to throw out.

"How happy is the blameless vessel's lot.
The world forgetting by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
Each prayer accepted, each wish resigned." -Alexander Pope

Extending Love

Some people can be so selfish and hurtful. I wonder how they justify their terrible actions to themselves. Do they really think they are right? Do they really think that it is ok to treat people the way they do? Lately, God has been testing me. I have had several people who I considered myself close to at one time or another, throw some curve ball my way that shocked, annoyed and hurt me, not to mention made me incredibly angry. I am trying hard to let it roll off my back. Not worry about what is to come, and focus on the here and now, and just remember that Karma takes care of those that look out only for themselves. Maybe this is my Karma. Have I not been kind and open hearted enough? Have I been selfish and hasty and unkind? Its possible. I am learning now for not the first time how that feels, and I am taking the lesson to heart this time.
We need to be gentle with each other. Extend love and forgiveness and understanding rather than quick judgment and anger. Forgive one another for their human weakness and give grace to those who clearly need it.
If I wish to change the world, I have to start with changing myself. Looking out for those around me, and understanding that they too have struggles and fears and wounds and need love too. They need a little forgiveness and grace just like I do.
Maybe if I extend what I need from others to others, I will get what I need in return. Maybe I won't. But I will be something good. Even to those I don't feel deserve it.
But doesnt everybody deserve it? Dont we all deserve a break? For someone to just love us and forgive us? We all certainly need it.

Extend love rather than pass judgment. Give forgiveness rather than spite and revenge. Open your heart and love even when it hurts and makes you angry. Maybe you will get a little back. I am hoping I will anyway.

Only Human

You know what guys? I am only human! I am ONE PERSON, and everything in my big life depends on little old me. There is no one to shoulder this load with me, so please, please can someone somewhere sometime just CUT ME A F&%$ING BREAK?! I would appreciate it. I make mistakes, I have situations and circumstances that are out of my control, and sometimes there is only so much I can do. I would appreciate a little grace, a little understanding and some breathing room! Pretty please with love and sunshine and sugar plums on top.

This has been a day from hell. Im just banging my shins and bumping my head and tripping all over my life today. I could use a hug. And a drink!

Fighting Kids!

Oh. MY. G O D!!!!! I cannot TAKE the fighting anymore! It is constant. Jack and Lainie go at it all the time. Literally, they wake me up in the morning, complaining in unison about something the one of them did. "Mom he won't share!" "Mom, Lainie won't stop bossing me!" M O O O O M M M !!!!!!!! Shut up!! I don't want to hear it, you guys work it out or you're both going back to bed!!!! Ugh. I hate the fighting, it drives me crazy. I never imagined how much a 7 year old could fight with a 2 year old. I thought it was just him who would want everything she picked up to play with but NO! She does the exact same thing. Any time he has anything that he's playing with, she wants it too, and expects him to hand it over and thats called sharing. But if he even LOOKS at one of her toys, all hell breaks loose.

I better have some coffee and enjoy the current silence as they play queitly in seperate rooms, because it won't last long. And then the fighting will resume, and once again I will be praying to the nap time Gods for 12:30 to come as soon as possible.

How do parents of several kids do it?! Do their kids not fight? That doesn't seem possible. Do they start drinking earlier in the day than I do?....well maybe.

Happy New Year

I dont write here enough. I hate that. I want to write more, but I dont think anyone even reads this blog, so I dont always feel motivated enough. But here goes.

So its that time again! New Years day. Its uncommonly cold here in AZ. A pure crystaline day with bright blue skies and soft puffs of white clouds. A nice 40 degrees out. I did my first consultation of the new year! A lovely couple who is funny, kind and interesting. I am keeping my fingers crossed tightly.
I made New Years resolutions. I dont know if I will keep them, but I hope I do. As I grow up more and more every day, I become more and more determined to improve my life. To have a better life than the lives of the people I come from. Better than the examples set for me. Joy, happiness, comfort and stability. A happy life for my children. I am striving for this daily. Succeeding? Maybe.

Resolutions:

• Organize my crazy house. Find a place for everything, finally!
• Save money. Make a budget and stick to it so I can finally see whether my business is profitable or not! :)
• Enjoy my life for what it is. Find joy and peace and happiness amidst the craziness, the mess and the struggle. Find that silver lining, and let it shine on me and mine.

I hope you all had a wonderful New Year, and I hope you made some resolutions. I hope you still have that hope alive in yourself, that you CAN improve and change and grow and constantly move forward. It doesn't matter if you don't get it all right. Just keep that hope and faith alive :)

You can't start a fire without a spark
Even if we're just dancin in the dark